A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2010 Edition!

Hello one and all! It is that time of year again. It's time for my joculary edifying Christmas story! This is my 5th year of time wasting, er I mean, blogging about all things Christmas. If you have not read my past posts, then you truly have not lived. Truly! Anyways on with the show. What I do each and every year is blog about my life and friends in a bizarro world of gift giving and most importantly gift receiving. Remember friends, this is fake, not to hurt feelings but too giggle and guffaw!
I bring to you A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2010!
my cast of strong:
Brandt played perfectly by Brian
Chrystal impersonated quite hot by my wife Christy
Mindy portrayed by aloof, but funny little friend Mandy
Rod aka Rohan (Mandy's australian husband)
Richard aka Troy (Brian's best friend of the last 23 years)
Becky aka Becca (Troy's very very pregnant wife)
Tripp aka Trey (Brian's HS friend)
making a cameo appearance-
Juanita aka Juanell (Christy's mother)
MawMaw aka Grandma (Brian's sainted grandmother)
now that all of the introductions and needed bathroom breaks are out of the way lets get this party started...

Brandt walks in the bedroom as Chrystal drools on her pillow while laying in bed.
Brandt: Chrystal! it is 11:30am....
Chrystal: will you give me a wakey back massage?
Brandt obliges. to Chrystal's disgust she asks, " Two hands!!!!" Brandt does as asked.
Brandt tells Chrystal: guess what I have?
Chrystal: what? another wrestling dvd??? (giggle)
Brandt: guess!
Chrystal: I hate guessing, just tell me!
Brandt: I have a lottery ticket.
Chrystal: and?
Brandt: I have a good feeling about this...
Chrystal: is this the same good feeling you had about your Longhorns and Cowboys this year? (giggle)
Brandt: nooooooo! (he scratches furiously away at the ticket)
*phone rings*
Brandt: ughhh... will you answer that please!
Chrystal: no, I'll let it go to voice mail.
Brandt: what if it is important?
the phone is on its fourth ring
Chrystal finally answers the phone and it is her mom Juanita
Chrystal: hello.
Juanita (already talking) did I wake you?
Chrystal: no, what's up?
Juanita: just seeing how my dear daughter is doing.
Chrystal: mom, let me call you back Brandt is beating my down with some lottery ticket.
Juanita: need me to call the police?
Chrystal: what? no!, I'll call back!
Juanita: ok, bye...... hey real quick!
Chrystal (dial tone)
Brandt: WOOHOOOOOOO! I won, I mean we won!
Chrystal (not impressed) what did we win?
Brandt: we won a million dollars!!!!!
Chrystal: really!!!!! (quickly jumps up and does the running man)
Brandt (grabs his newly bought I-phone): I'm gonna call Richard!
Brandt frantically tries to call Richard but he is not answering.
Richard and his wife Becky are in transport to the local hospital. Becky's water has broken and she is ready to give birth to their new baby boy. The boy's new name is Christopher Brian Matheny.
Brandt leaves a voice mail and tells Richard he has great news.
Brandt: bro, I have won a million dollars!!!!!!
*ding dong*
Chrystal: will you get that hon?
Brandt in a joyous skip to the door answers and it is Mindy and Rod.
Brandt: well hello there my commoner friends!
Mindy: what?
Rod: ready for a basketball game?
Brandt smugly looks down on his friends and says. "Mindy, Chrystal is in there (pointing to the bedroom) and Rod my good ol' chap, I don't have time for basketball today, I need to go collect my check.
Rod: what check?
Brandt: you wouldn't understand!
Brandt leaves post haste.
Mindy: Chrystal, what has gotten into Brandt? what is the cheese again?
Chrystal: he says we won the lottery!
Mindy: oh wow! really? how much?
Chrystal: one million dollars!!
Rod (eavesdropping): what?
*phone rings on Brandt's cell phone* ring ring.
Brandt can't hear it due to the blaring Metallica in his car. Tripp leaves a voicemail about a funny story about the cops putting out fake lottery tickets to dupe people into thinking they won so they would go collect only to get snared by the police.
Brandt giddily runs into the store to claim his prize only to be engulfed by the fine uniformed officers of Dallas. it seems Brandt forgot to pay a ticket that is now outstanding.
Chrystal meanwhile is preparing for their Christmas feast. MawMaw has arrived and brought the turkey and dressing. (just the way Brandt likes it)
Mindy is seen tasting the dressing with her fingers, while Rod has turned on the t.v. to watch the Mavericks.
Richard and Becky are proud parents of a new bouncing baby boy! new name is Chase Raider Matheny.
Richard: great job honey!
Becky: thank you...
Richard: do you think Brandt will be offended that we didn't name Chase after him?
Becky: I don't really care, he still hasn't paid for that Christmas tree ornament from the Longhorn game in 05'.
Richard: duly noted!
back at the Peters/Robinson abode-
Rod is seen snoring on the couch with maverick basketball playing in the back ground.
Mindy is still tasting the dressing and turkey with her fingers.
Brandt is sitting in Lew Sterrett (a Dallas jail) waiting to make his one call. It seems a very buff Jerry Wayne from Mesquite is hogging the phone talking to one of his friends.
Chrystal is back at home setting the table wondering where her mom is. *phone rings*
Juanita: Chrystal, I'm on my way. sorry for being late but I.....
Chrystal: mom it is ok, but I'm really busy here just come on over....
Brandt finally makes his one phone call. He calls his wife and gets an immediate voice mail.
Chrystal it seems has put her phone on silent.
Brandt can't believe his bad luck. The officer comes to bring Brandt to the waiting cell. Brandt sits next to Jerry Wayne who winks at him knowingly.
Chrystal/Mindy/Rod/Juanita and MawMaw all gather around the Christmas feast and say their blessings to Santa Baby Jesus.
Mawmaw: "asks where Brandt is?"
Chrystal: He has a huge surprise for everyone!
-while back at Lew Sterret- Brandt is seen in the fetal position sobbing uncontollably!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! bye 2010....