Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Bizarro Thanksgiving 2013'

Hello my fellow humanoids! My my my, how the time has passed since we last visited. I aged another year, gained a few and traversed in my mind where I would like to roam. Anyway, in lieu of my customary blog, I thought I'd switch it up on you guys and lay another good strong bizarro blog. Now if you don't have the foggiest idea what that means, look it up, educate yourself and let hilarity consume you. I have added a few new characters to enhance the overall bizarro product. *Disclaimer* if you get offended by depiction of said characters in this here blog, I'm sorry, but get over it. This is meant to edify our feeble minds and let the funny have its way with us. So without further ado, here we go....

Starring in no particular order-
Brandt played by Brian
Chrystal played by Christy
Mindy by Mandy
Rod by Rohan
Richard by Troy
Becky by Becca
Guest starring-
Raquel by Rachel (Mindy's sister)
Trance by Travis (Mindy's brother-n-law)
Rock by Roy (Mindy's brother from the same mother)


Deep in the heart of Texas.

Brandt: Chrystal, have Thanksgiving Day festivities been secured?
Chrystal: I don't know Brandt, have they?
Brandt confused by the language replies, "Ummmm!"

Meanwhile at the Pegues.Buck abode-
Rod: Mindy, has Brandt invited us yet for Thanksgiving dinner?
Mindy: I don't know, has he not called you yet?
Rod: that's why I'm asking you!
Mindy: ugh, I don't know. Ever since we didn't invite them over for ding-dong cake, Brandt has been a little sore...
Rod: well, we don't have to be around them all the time!
Mindy: I know, but ding-dong cake brings friends together... I'm going to call Raquel and see if she has heard anything.

*ring ring*
Raquel: hello!
Mindy: hey Raquel, do you know if we're going to Chrystal and Brandt's for Thanksgiving?
Raquel: why would I know that, they're you're friends!!
Mindy: ugh, sigh, no they're not... Have you seen how Brandt plays with Lake? (Raquel's baby daughter)
Raquel: well, he is good with kids...
Trance: (looking at Raquel), hey hon, I'm going with Rock hunting..
Raquel: wait! what about Thanksgiving??
Trance: ummm, we have to have a turkey to eat! we're not going to the store for one.
Raquel: good thinking...
Mindy: (looking at phone) hello...
Raquel hangs up...

Rock is still butt-up sleeping on his bean bag unknowing of the turkey hunt that is about to commence
Trance knocks on Rock's door. "Rock you ready!?"
Rock awakens with a migraine and puts his longjohns and overalls on. "Ready."

Trance and Rock meander through the dense forest on the look out for turkey prey.

In the meantime,
Brandt is feverishly making his famous cornbread dressing.
Chrystal: babe, I'm gonna need the counter space for cookings and bakings...
Brandt: hon, you know I need to make the dressing..
Chrystal: well yes, but do you want me to make fudge or not!
Brandt proceeds to make dressing by the small space next to the window sill.

*ring ring*
Richard dials Brandt to break the bad news that he and his wife Becky will not be making Thanksgiving this year due to having Dallas Cowboy game tickets..
Richard: dangit...
Becky: what?
Richard: Brandt isn't picking up!
Becky: leave a voicemail, then you won't have to break the news to him right now and hear him whine and complain.
Richard: well, we have been friends for over 25 years.
Becky: well, we have been married for over 14 years!
Richard: good point.

Chrystal is bumping to her new Justin Timberlake album whilst making her patented fudge.
Brandt is seen cleaning stuffing off the sill and window area.

Trance and Rock have stealthily murdered their turkey and proceeded to clean, drain and defeather it.

Rod is packing up he and Mindy's food offerings.
Mindy: Let's just head over to Chrystal and Brandt's place right now to get this Thanksgiving party started.

Raquel needs directions to Brandt's place, so she enlists Facebook's help for answers.

Trance and Rock clean the blood of their person and celebrate their deft killing of the turkey and subsequent cleaning and preparing for consumption.

All parties make their way to Brandt and Chrystal's for a nice Thanksgiving feast.
Brandt checks his phone and realizes the message from Richard.
Chrystal is delightfully dancing to another JT song.
Mindy is pulling into the driveway, while Rod digs 2 fingers into the side of the ding-dong cake.
Mindy: Rod?!
Rod: what? they'll never notice.

The mood is festive and thanks is given.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!

I hope you have enjoyed my post! If you were offended then, I apologize ... for your lack of fun! til Christmas and the annual yearly Bizarro Christmas. goodnight!