Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving Eve '07

Well here it is the Thanksgiving Holidays. What are your plans for the big Turkey day? My plans are to eat, eat some more and after eating, watch the Cowboys game. I love Thanksgiving. It is my second most favorite holiday behind my birthday. I just like all the love in the air, the smell of great food and the brush with the law. My family this year decided to not get together this year and instead see how everyone does on their own. We are a festive sort. The matriarch of the family, my grandmother, has decided to spend Thanksgiving with a can of Dr. Pepper, a bag of popcorn and the remote control. Yes, she basically has given up, thrown in the towel, and raised the flag. In layman's terms, depression has set in. Depression is a funny emotion. It runs in our family. Depression grabbed my dear ol' dad by the throat and whispered in his ear to end life as he knew it. Yep, good ol' depression. To this day I am ravaged by the feelings of depression. Could it be that I might have what my dad had? Who knows who cares, right. Turkey day is supposed to be wrought with goosebumps and fun times. Instead, this year mine will be filled with guilt, shame and overeating. Thankfully, my angelic fiance has invited to spend it with her family. She is a voluptuous, bright, smart, christian lady. Wonder what she is doing with the likes of me? I wonder too. I wonder everyday. I wonder outloud to co-workers, friends, family and walter the farting dog. The only feedback I get is, "Don't worry be happy." So happy I will be even with depression knocking on the door. If you didn't know, I was a master blog writer on a competing website. We will call it Myplace. I wrote like 50 someodd blogs. I have seen the error of my ways and now I am all growns up. So keep reading my very amusing blogs on blogspot. If you don't, I will know. Anyways, I know I have been all over the place in the post but that is how my brain works. Yes, christy my brain works, geez! Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Thanksgiving and all that implies....

Thanksgiving and all that implies....
Well hot diggity damn. I am back and better than ever. I have canvassed and perused other blogs and would like to throw my hat in the proverbial ring. Back in the day, I used to whip out blog after blog. Nowadays, I try to write with common sense and a touch of class. So here goes nothing.In this season of giving and taking (what we americans call Thanksgiving), I have come to realize my place on this fair planet. I am here to clean up, pay for and be subject of ridicule. I know hard life. Who is complaining? Not me, I only had a dad check out on me at the ripe age of 1 1/2 and a mom who had other seemly ideas for her one and only true child. I'm not bitter at all. I mean, I grew up on the other side of the tracks. I wore glasses as a kid for goodness sakes. I had grandparents who told me to toughen up and quit being a pansy. I had a brute for a sister, she was adopted I might add. See where I am coming from. Feel sorry for me yet? Not yet!!! Well how about the fear of heights and tapeworms. Or, how about the fear of ghosts and evil doers dressed up as relatives with comly hands. Shuttering are we? Hmmpphhh! How about going to family funerals at the rate of a cheap hooker with a lifted skirt. (rimshot) No compassion yet? Arrghhh! Hows about tripping and falling like a drunk homeless person in Salado Tx. Or about the time that I scharted in the dressing room. Oh wait, was that you christy? sorry didn't mean to throw you under the bus. Well I best git while the gitting is good.Happy Thanksgiving.P.S. Pray for the turkeysP.S. (2) Pray for Sweaty Palms Mcgee.