Wednesday, December 27, 2017

I'm on Fire

previously on the Superfriends-

Brian: hey babe, are we going to work out tonight?
Christy: of course.....
Brian: what time?
Christy with her running shoes, leg panties and tank top on: NOW!
Brian: I haven't got my shoes on yet......

Mandy: Ro, are we getting coffee?
Ro:.....................
Mandy: Ro???
Ro:..........
Mandy: that boy never answers me..
Ro has already slipped out the door and is reveling in his cup of joe down at the Coffee's R Us.

Voodoo Child softly strums through the Superfriends studio as Brian readies for the show.
Christy is on hiatus from her duties and is in Scotland preparing for her "Why Scottish Men Wear Kilts" documentary.
Troy is phoning in for the show due to a clause in his just renewed contract that bars him from being in the same vicinity as Mandy.
Mandy is rubbing her hands together waiting for her cup of hot chocolate to be ready.

Brian: well, we have a skeleton crew today. I'll be pulling double duty today, producing and hosting...
Mandy: you mean co-hosting!
Brian right... anyways, on the show today we will read the Mavericks box score, dissect the Dallas Cowboys season, look ahead to the Rangers 2018 schedule and we'll find a just enough time to do Mandy's Minute.
Mandy: can we make sure it's a full minute?
Brian ignores his tiny friend's request and pulls out the paper for the Mavericks boxscore.
Mandy: what is that?
Brian: it's the newspaper.
Mandy: who reads the newspaper??
Brian: can we focus?
Mandy begins stacking doughnuts she bought from the local Shipley's
Brian: what are you doing?
Mandy: I always stack my doughnuts before I eat them.
Brian: I'm not even going to ask.
after reading the Mavs boxscore, Brian throws it to Mandy so she can do her Mandy's Minute.
Mandy: argghhhh, ughhhhh. "splat, kerplunk!"
unsurprisingly Mandy's doughnuts have fallen off the table and onto the floor.
Mandy feverishly tries to clean her doughnut glaze and chocolate mess knowing her minute is almost up.
Brian, after a minute of dead air, he recovers: next we will take a few phone calls.

*off air*
Brian unleashes fire and brimstone towards his diminuitive friend. Mandy licks her fingers with total disregard at Brian's adult words being hurled at her.

*back from break*
ring ring
Brian answers the Superfriends hotline
Brian: caller, welcome to the show.
Caller: aye! you ken what I've been doin?
Brian: Christy, my bonny sassenach!
Mandy looks on in a state of confusion as to what is being said
Christy: I'm almost done with research.
Brian: does that mean you're coming home soon?
Christy: almost a couple 3-4, maybe 5-7 days.
Brian schlumps his shoulders
Mandy giggles
Christy: it's really beautiful over here! the guys wear nice kilts and have beautiful hai.....
Brian makes muffled gargling noises with his mouth and hands: I think we have a bad connection, I'm gonna have to let you go for now..
Mandy: you just did that with your han.....
Brian: that's all the time we have for today.
Mandy: it's only 12:30pm, we usually go til 2:00pm.....
Brian with tears welling up: I need to go clean the house.
Mandy: don't you live with the in-laws??
Brian has already spun out of his chair and left the studio.
Mandy twirls her hair and smushes the remaining glaze off the table.
from the comfy confines of his recliner, Troy continues nodding off to sleep, missing the whole show.

Will Christy come home with pertinent info on her research of all things Scottish? Will Brian make it through while his bride is overseas? Will Mandy clean up from her embarrassing doughnut fiasco? Will Troy ever come back to work in the studio? All this and more next time on 93.8 the Superfriends....

BIzarro Christmas 2017'

It's that time again boys and girls, the Bizarro Christmas 2017 edition. as I'm want to do each and very year, I make up some fantasy and some reality involving those nearest and dearest to my heart. If I haven't included you in my many musings then well, you just didn't cut the mustard.

I don't mean to offend unless your name is Mandy or to very less extent Travis. So onward we go....

For clarity and better reading enjoyment, I'll update everyone on their bizarro names.

Headliners-
Brian as Brandt
Christy as Chrystal

Tier Two-
Mandy as Mindy
Rohan as Rod
Troy as Richard
Becca as Becky

Hangers'on/HamN'Eggers
Travis as Trance
Rachel as Raquel
Featuring Roy and Rock and Emily as Endor


It's a cold Christmas Eve night. The wind is slowly wisping against the trees with a romantic touch. Chrystal and Brandt have finished off their binge watching of the Scottish hit; Outlander. Brandt draws the shades and makes a hot cup of cocoa while his bride Chrystal checks on the pies in the oven. The fair couple will be hosting another Christmas luncheon with their fellow brethern tomorrow at 2:00pm sharp.

Meanwhile at the Buck residence Mindy is slopping food to and fro while Rod cleans his knife of deer blood.
Mindy: Rod, can you help me?
Rod: not now, I have manly things to do!
Mindy: well, I'm stressing on making the turkey and dressing for tomorrow.
Rod: don't stress, all will be well.
Mindy: how so?
Rod: I just know.
Mindy stands confused yet steady's herself in Rod's faith.

At the Matheny household, Richard is distilling the beer and Becky is making the queso and sausage appetizer.
Richard: babe, why are you making queso?
Becky: well, Brandt loves it so....
Richard: true but...
Becky: this will be Brant's 3rd Christmas without his sainted grandma and I want him to smile even if its a little.
Richard nods in agreement and keeps churning out the beer.

At the Vidaurri manor, Trance is wrapping their presents for the Christmas Day festivities while Raquel is mashing potatoes old school style. (with wooden shoes and a lite toe tap)
Trance: hon, what on earth on you doing?
Raquel: Trance don't you know anything? This method makes the potatoes fluffy yet a touch crunchy.
Trance looks on in amazement at Raquel's strength and superior intellect.

Finally at Rock's living quarters, Rock is serving himself a shot of Scottish whiskey and Endor is buttering the rolls.
Rock: sweetie, do you need to butter the rolls now.
Endor patting her handsome man; you tend to your Scotch and I'll handle my business.

Christmas Day arrives and everyone is full of holiday spirit and unwanted side hugs.

Mindy and Rod are the first to arrive. Chrystal greets them and takes their coats and jackets. Brandt hi-fives Rod and shoulder bumps Mindy.
Mindy hurriedly puts the dressing in the oven.
Rod: Mindy, the dressing is done, no?
Mindy: yes but we want the food hot.
Brandt: yeah, who eats their food cold?
Chrystal raises her hand but notices no one else is with her on this crazy idea.
Rod commences to plop on the couch and turns the tv onto the football game. Brandt joins in the frivolity of football while Chrystal and Mindy giggle and talk boys.

Richard and Becky arrive with piping hot queso. Brandt smells the aroma of said queso.
Brandt: hey guys, it smells good! where are the chips? Richard and Becky look at each other. Becky unleashes unmentionable words at Richard. Richard schlumps shoulders and heads to the store to retrieve chips.

Trance and Raquel arrive with operatic music in tow. Chrystal welcomes and greets with enthusiastic handshakes. Trance joins his brotherhood in the living room for some fierce football while Raquel carries on with Chrystal and Mindy in the kitchen.

In the ensuing brouhaha, Rock and Endor grace us with their presence and the whole gang is now together. Much food eating and belly laughs reign throughout the household. Stories of yesteryear fill the air. Christmas gifts are exchanged and fake pleasantries are meted out.

Gifts received in no particular order;

Brandt- lifetime supply of cheese
Chrystal- 5 day trip to Scotland
Mindy- years supply of tuna
Rod- weekend getaway of deer hunting
Richard- tour of the local Shiner Bock distillery
Becky- Mother's Day out twice a week for the next six months
Trance- endless supply of gun bullets
Raquel- copious amounts of adult fiction graphic novels
Rock- season tickets to the Cowboys game for 2018'
Endor- girls weekend get-a-way to Fredericksburg

as everyone cleans up and tells stories of yor, Brandt glazes out the window and reminisces of Christmas past with his beloved grandmother. Chrystal sidles up next to her beau and embarces him with love. They share a moment of love lost for Melba Higginbotham and John Robinson.

Always in our hearts and forever with us.
Christmas 2017' has come and gone but remember the reason for the season!

Love......

Monday, November 13, 2017

Whiskey River On My Mind

previously on the Superfriends:

at the Peters/Robinson residence
Brian: sweetie, have you mailed Mandy her birthday card yet?
Christy: not yet!
Brian: well, it's November 13 already....
Christy: ok, well remind me.
Brian: I thought that what was I was doi.......
Christy is vigorously washing and coloring her hair.

at the Pegues/Buck estate
Rohan: Mandy!! do we have to see Willie Nelson again this weekend?
Mandy: what?? you love Willie...
Rohan: I do but man, he talk sing his songs so.
Mandy: ugh
Rohan: plus, I don't like people being all up on me...
Mandy: Brian will be there!
Rohan: I'm there.......


Voodoo Child is strumming through the Superfriends studio
*dead air*
Mandy and Christy are looking around not knowing what to do, or say.
Troy is 10 minutes deep into a mid-day nap..
Mandy whispers: where is Brian?
Christy: last I heard or saw was he was posting about the Cowboys loss to Facebook.
Mandy: good grief..
Troy awakens from his slumber and notifies the crew that Brian has taken a personal day.
Mandy: a personal day?? what does that mean?
Christy: smh, he must be sore because the Cowboys lost.
Troy: it means he won't be here and ya'll are running the show AND I have a round of golf to play..
Mandy: run this big boy!! (gives Troy the 1 finger slaute)'
Christy: lets all act mature here ok, we'll be fine!
Mandy: he started it!
Christy smacks her head...

Christy runs down the show today. Thanksgiving Day recipes, Fixer Upper star Chip Gaines via telephone, and Mandy's half-minute.
Mandy: wait a minute! half-minute??
Christy explains: well, Brian said to declining segment ratings we had to cut the time in half!
Mandy schlumps in her chair
Christy expounds on the intricate details of how to properly make cornbread dressing for Thanksgiving..
Mandy eagerly awaits her turn for her half-minute segment
Mandy: ok, so in......
ring ring, ring ring...
Christy answers the Superfriends hot-line
on the other end is an excited happy caller
Christy: caller go ahead!
caller, in an exuberant girl voice: I'm back baby and there's nothing ya'll can do about it.
Christy: that's my man!
Mandy; so basically I'm not getting to do my segment?
Brian with a very hoarse voice: I've secured a radio deal to extend the Superfriends show for another 5 years!
Christy is seen mouth-cussing under her breath.
Mandy is dumbfounded yet excited because she will supposedly get to do her Mandy's minute.
Troy gets a text from Brian with the good news and promptly drives his golf cart into the 9th hole pond.
Rohan is ignoring any and all texts and instead is listening to his June concert videos of Metallica.

what does this mean for the future of the Superfriends? Will Christy get her mouth washed out with soap? Will Mandy get to reprise her segment? Is Troy ok after his golfcart fiasco? All that and much more next time on 93.8 the Superfriends.


Friday, September 15, 2017

Fantastical Feedback Friday

previously on the Superfriends:

at the Peters/Robinson house-
Brian: hon, have you finished packing up the bathroom?
Christy: come here!
Brian folding clothes, "babe?!"
Christy: come here!
Brian: I've made a pile of your folded underwear
Christy: I need you to help me get out of bed.....

at the Pegues/Buck residence
Rohan looking at Barkley boy: who's a good boy?
Mandy: Rohan, I've made breakfast. come and get it.
Rohan ignoring his wife: good boy, good boy!
Mandy: I'm not waiting....

piercing through the Superfriends studio is Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix
Mandy rudely interrupts: why do we have to keep playing this blasted song?
Brian looking on in horror at the sudden and vile interruption; Mandy, we've been doing this show for almost 10 years and it' a tradition.
Mandy; but....
Christy: and you know how Brian loves traditions....
Mandy: ugh.
after introducing the crew, Brian stands up and looks in the mirror at his new figure
Christy: there's my man!
Mandy vomits in her mouth
Troy: damn bro, looking good. (Troy subsequently looks at his own arms in comparison)
Mandy wipes vomit off her lips
Christy squeezes Brian's biceps

Mandy: ok, ok.... we get it, you've been working out!
Brian: I've been eating better too
Mandy: lol, sure....
Christy: he has, he has cut his cheese intake by 75%
Troy: whoa, thats awesome. wish I could do that.
Mandy giggles
Troy: who pulled your chain?
Brian: ok, enough! we have a show to run.
Christy: yes, today we will discuss healthy eating and some helpful tips on exercises.
Mandy: wait a minute, I thought you said you wanted me to review the Star Wars movies?
Brian: we do but we have 3 hours to fill.
Christy: 3 hours?? I have a body that needs some working out.
Brian: well, I can hel......
Mandy: gross
Christy: rude! and Brian, I'll hold you to that!
Troy: that's what she said
Brian giggles

Mandy finishes her review of the Star Wars movies.
Mandy: and with that is why I love Chewbaca the most.
Brian: what about Han Solo?
Mandy: what kind of name is that? Han Solo?? (laughs)
Brian looks on stunned
Christy: I can't believe you watched all 3 movies?
Mandy: well, I fast-forwarded it. Rohan filled me in.
Brian: what???
Christy: ok, well I can see this isn't going to end well. let's discuss some helpful tips.....
Brian standing up, this isn't fair, you promised.. I watched The Princess Bride and the deal was you watch Star Wars.
Christy: so to finish up, do deep knee bends
Mandy: I HATED IT!!! IT WAS THE WORST MOVIE EVERRRRRRR.
Troy hides under the table
Christy is laying on the floor doing crunches, still talking into the mic
Brian in full throat: MANDY PEGUES BUCK YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!
Mandy: you can't fire me because I QUIT!!
Brian: well, I fired you first...
Mandy: nuh uh
Christy is fed up with the juvenile behavior and leaves out the back door.
Troy has falled asleep under the table
Brian and Mandy scream argue about who fired or quit first..


Next time on the Superfriends; Will Mandy and Brian repair the damage of their argument? Will the show continue in it's current format? Will Christy return? Will Troy wake up in time to see what has transpired? Will the show go on? Join us next time as we get answers to these very serious questions.....

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Enter Sandman

previously on the Superfriends-

at the Peters/Robinson residence:
Brian: hey babe, what do you have planned for today?
Christy: just a little of this and a little of that.
Brian wonders what that means
Christy: what do you have planned?
Brian: I don't know, what do you want to do?
Christy: ugh, I'm gonna go work out.
Brian: can I come with you?
Christy: you gonna do some cardio?
Brian: ...........

Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix  is strumming through he Superfriends studio.
Mandy: hold up, hold up. I would like to restart the show!

Loco-motion by Australia's Kylie Minogue screeches through the Superfriends studio
Mandy: that's better! I'm here twisting and tweaking basically running this darn thing today.

*aside*
Brian has been suspended for a week due to overt and controversial political  social media posts.
Troy is boycotting said suspension of Brian.
Christy is trapesing higher and yon throughout Southeast Asia.

*aside over*

Mandy: today on the show, I have a few guest hosts. My sister Rachel, who will bestow her knowledge of all things google and my loving mother Jonell, who will edify us on her recipe of "ding do..." I mean hostess cake. We'll also go to the phones for fantastical fun with phones.
Rachel: Mandy, is where I come in?
Mandy: ugh, Rachel, we went over this in the per-show meeting, I'll point to you and then you speak!
Rachel: pre-show meeting? You said come early and bring whataburger breakfast burritos.
Mandy: ugh!
Jonell: Jesus loves you!
Mandy: momma, not yet, I, suppose to point!
Jonell: pointing is rude....
Mandy: well, that's what Brian does to me letting me know when to speak.
Rachel: anyways, can we get to my google spot here.
Mandy: O Rachel, I just said that so you would come help me, I can't do this alone!
Rachel: you mean you don't need all this info and data that I researched? Wait, isn't this show fake anyways?
Jonell: Mary Amanda Pegues Buck, you be nice to your sister and no pointing!
Mandy: but, Bria......
Jonell: no buts here young lady.....
the studio phone rings- *ring ring*

Mandy: yes caller, go ahead!
Caller: (in a high pitched yet scruffy voice) my name is Briana
Mandy: wait a min....
Jonell: Mandy, don't be rude, caller go ahead...
Briana: can I read the Rangers box score?
Mandy: BRIAN!!!! you're suspended remember???
Briana: (voice cracking) my name is Briana not Brian...
Jonell: Mandy, I need to run, I have my weekly bingo game down at the church about to start.
Briana: ( in a svelte man's voice) what about the ding don.... I mean hostess cake recipe?
Mandy: busted! I knew it, I knew it....
Rachel and Jonell quietly exit the studio while Mandy keeps maniacally screaming into the phone, " its you Brian, its you........"


Join us next time on 93.8 the Superfriends! Will Brian be reinstated? Will Troy end his boycott? Will Christy regail us with stories of her southeast Asia trip? All that and much more......

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Futuristic Superfriends

This blog post is dedicated to my friends; Christy, Troy, Rohan and Mandy. We look to the future at our 80 year old selves. The year is 2055, set in the DFW metroplex.

Previously on the Superfriends-
Mandy: Rohan, where are my glasses?
Rohan: huh? I can't hear you...
Mandy: I said, where are my glasses?
Rohan: Mandy, you put them with your cane by the bed.
Mandy: but I'm not by the bed!
Rohan nods off to sleep whilst reading the morning newspaper.
Mandy hurriedly looks for her glasses. She doesn't want to be late for press conference with StarKist Tuna. Mandy doesn't realize her glasses are on the top of her head.

Meanwhile in the Cliffs of the Oak,  Brian is struggling to put on his depends on.
Christy: babe, you need help?
Brian: no, I can do it! (Brian stands up but his pants fall down)
Christy: well I need to run, my ultra marathon group training starts at 11:00am.
Brian: go ahead, I just need to pull my atrophied leg over to get the pants leg up.

Strumming through the dusty studio an oldie but goodie plays- Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix

Brian fumbles for the microphone and Mandy stretches her cane out to steady herself to sit in her Posterpedic foamed chair.
Mandy: dad blasted cane! I can never count on you!
Brian: welcome one and all to another award winning edition of the Superfriends.
Mandy: Brian, we haven't won an award since way back in 2017.
Brian: we've been doing this show since 2008, 47 long years!
Mandy: well, some of us have moved on to bigger and better things.
Brian: well, ever since Troy left to the mountains of Colorado to grow the happy grass, I've had to technically direct the show.
Mandy: where is Christy this time?
Brian: well she is speaking in Norway at a social media summit with the Norwegian president.
Mandy slowly claps but knocks her glasses off. "I can't see a darned thing!"
Brian: where is Rohan?
Mandy: well, he is moderating a local police officer community outreach Q & A. He's been retired for 22 years now.
Brian: don't brag, its unbecoming. On today's show we celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl for the 5th time.
Mandy: do we have to? ever since they moved to Austin, they don't feel like the Dallas Cowboys.
Brian: well, they're still the Dallas Cowboys to me. Jerry Jones might be 108 but he is still the owner and GM.
Mandy: hey look, we have a caller on line 1.
Brian: hello caller, state your name and business.
Caller: dude, man, it's me Troy man....
Brian with a tear in his eye- "bro, I'm so glad to hear your voice!"
Troy: yeah man, I haven't shaved my beard in 9 years...
Mandy: gross!
Brian: bro, I bet that looks awesome...
Mandy reaches over and hangs up the phone without Brian knowing.
This goes on for 14 minutes.
Mandy decrepitly shuffles out of the studio so she can make her Starkist Tuna press conference. She is set to announce 2055's winner of the years supply of tuna.
Brian realizes he's been talking to a phone with nobody on the other end. He also notices he has been sitting in his own urine soaked Depends. With a defeated stare, he reminisces on the years gone by and begins to count the days to when his silver haired vixen returns home from her Norwegian trip.

Next time on the Superfriends- When will Christy return from Norway? Who won the years supply of tuna? Will Troy ever shave his beard? Will Brian acknowledge his wasted years and life on a failed fake radio show? All that and more on 93.8 the Superfriends......

Monday, January 2, 2017

Masterpiece Theatre

previously on the Superfriends-

Mandy giddily shouts to Rohan, " I finally have a sponsor for 5k I'm putting on!"
Rohan: oh yeah! Is this for that stupid fake radio show?
Mandy looking confused answers: yes.....
Rohan: I'm going deer hunting.
Mandy contemplates telling her beau who the sponsor is but decides to wait so she can announce on the show.

Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix wafts energetically throughout the studio
Brian introduces the crew: to my right your left my beautiful wife, producer of all things Superfriends, Christy. (Mandy is seen pointing to her right and left in a confused state) technically directing is my mister from another sister, Troy, and finally playing second fiddle, Robin to my Batman, Mandy.
Christy: can we get on with things? I have things to do, places to be.
Brian: hon, it's just a rerack of our famous crew.
Mandy: we're famous?
Troy has already turned on Sportscenter and turned off his mic.

Brian: on he show today we'll discuss all things Cowboys, our Christmas holiday vacation and Mandy has a big announcement.
Christy: do we have to discuss the Cowboys? ITS SO BORING!
Mandy claps uncontrollably in agreement with Christy.
Brian: babe, you can cut out early if you like.
Christy is halfway out the building as her chair swivels in delight.
Brian looks on with sad face.
Troy is slumped over asleep with remote in hand.

As Brian and Mandy finish up their holiday vacation talk, Mandy is ready for her announcement.
Brian: ok Mandy, you ready?
Mandy: yes finally. I have my whole family listening!
Brian: really?
Mandy: well, just my mama. Ro is deer hunting, Rachel is raising three kids, and Travis cuffing and stuffing bad people.
Brian: well, we're waiting...
Mandy: my big sponsor for my Superfriends 5k is (muffled sounds come from Mandy's microphone)
Brian: could you repeat that please.
Mandy: what happened? I practiced this at least 10 times.
Brian looks over at her microphone and sees Troy in his stupor has accidentally turned down her volume on the mic....
Mandy: (in full throat) TROY!!!
Troy awakens hastily and gets ina fitting stance not knowing what he has done.
Brian: Mandy, it's been fixed, go ahead.
Mandy: drum roll please-
Brian looks around and decides to make drum noises with his mouth/lips
Mandy: Today, January 2, 2017 my official sponsor for the annual Superfriends 5k is Starkist Tuna!
Brian looks on in admiration
Mandy: well, after all these years, I kind of like tuna. Starkist will be handing out a year supply of tuna to the runner with the best time.
Brian: ok, when is the date for this exciting 5k?
Mandy: you mean, I have to come up with the date too??

Join us next time as we see if Mandy has come up with a date for the race. Why did Troy awaken ina fighting stance? Will Christy be back? Will Brian help his diminuative friend with a race date? All this and more next time in 93.8 the Superfriends....