BIzarro Christmas 2017'

It's that time again boys and girls, the Bizarro Christmas 2017 edition. as I'm want to do each and very year, I make up some fantasy and some reality involving those nearest and dearest to my heart. If I haven't included you in my many musings then well, you just didn't cut the mustard.

I don't mean to offend unless your name is Mandy or to very less extent Travis. So onward we go....

For clarity and better reading enjoyment, I'll update everyone on their bizarro names.

Headliners-
Brian as Brandt
Christy as Chrystal

Tier Two-
Mandy as Mindy
Rohan as Rod
Troy as Richard
Becca as Becky

Hangers'on/HamN'Eggers
Travis as Trance
Rachel as Raquel
Featuring Roy and Rock and Emily as Endor


It's a cold Christmas Eve night. The wind is slowly wisping against the trees with a romantic touch. Chrystal and Brandt have finished off their binge watching of the Scottish hit; Outlander. Brandt draws the shades and makes a hot cup of cocoa while his bride Chrystal checks on the pies in the oven. The fair couple will be hosting another Christmas luncheon with their fellow brethern tomorrow at 2:00pm sharp.

Meanwhile at the Buck residence Mindy is slopping food to and fro while Rod cleans his knife of deer blood.
Mindy: Rod, can you help me?
Rod: not now, I have manly things to do!
Mindy: well, I'm stressing on making the turkey and dressing for tomorrow.
Rod: don't stress, all will be well.
Mindy: how so?
Rod: I just know.
Mindy stands confused yet steady's herself in Rod's faith.

At the Matheny household, Richard is distilling the beer and Becky is making the queso and sausage appetizer.
Richard: babe, why are you making queso?
Becky: well, Brandt loves it so....
Richard: true but...
Becky: this will be Brant's 3rd Christmas without his sainted grandma and I want him to smile even if its a little.
Richard nods in agreement and keeps churning out the beer.

At the Vidaurri manor, Trance is wrapping their presents for the Christmas Day festivities while Raquel is mashing potatoes old school style. (with wooden shoes and a lite toe tap)
Trance: hon, what on earth on you doing?
Raquel: Trance don't you know anything? This method makes the potatoes fluffy yet a touch crunchy.
Trance looks on in amazement at Raquel's strength and superior intellect.

Finally at Rock's living quarters, Rock is serving himself a shot of Scottish whiskey and Endor is buttering the rolls.
Rock: sweetie, do you need to butter the rolls now.
Endor patting her handsome man; you tend to your Scotch and I'll handle my business.

Christmas Day arrives and everyone is full of holiday spirit and unwanted side hugs.

Mindy and Rod are the first to arrive. Chrystal greets them and takes their coats and jackets. Brandt hi-fives Rod and shoulder bumps Mindy.
Mindy hurriedly puts the dressing in the oven.
Rod: Mindy, the dressing is done, no?
Mindy: yes but we want the food hot.
Brandt: yeah, who eats their food cold?
Chrystal raises her hand but notices no one else is with her on this crazy idea.
Rod commences to plop on the couch and turns the tv onto the football game. Brandt joins in the frivolity of football while Chrystal and Mindy giggle and talk boys.

Richard and Becky arrive with piping hot queso. Brandt smells the aroma of said queso.
Brandt: hey guys, it smells good! where are the chips? Richard and Becky look at each other. Becky unleashes unmentionable words at Richard. Richard schlumps shoulders and heads to the store to retrieve chips.

Trance and Raquel arrive with operatic music in tow. Chrystal welcomes and greets with enthusiastic handshakes. Trance joins his brotherhood in the living room for some fierce football while Raquel carries on with Chrystal and Mindy in the kitchen.

In the ensuing brouhaha, Rock and Endor grace us with their presence and the whole gang is now together. Much food eating and belly laughs reign throughout the household. Stories of yesteryear fill the air. Christmas gifts are exchanged and fake pleasantries are meted out.

Gifts received in no particular order;

Brandt- lifetime supply of cheese
Chrystal- 5 day trip to Scotland
Mindy- years supply of tuna
Rod- weekend getaway of deer hunting
Richard- tour of the local Shiner Bock distillery
Becky- Mother's Day out twice a week for the next six months
Trance- endless supply of gun bullets
Raquel- copious amounts of adult fiction graphic novels
Rock- season tickets to the Cowboys game for 2018'
Endor- girls weekend get-a-way to Fredericksburg

as everyone cleans up and tells stories of yor, Brandt glazes out the window and reminisces of Christmas past with his beloved grandmother. Chrystal sidles up next to her beau and embarces him with love. They share a moment of love lost for Melba Higginbotham and John Robinson.

Always in our hearts and forever with us.
Christmas 2017' has come and gone but remember the reason for the season!

Love......