A Truly Bizarro Christmas- 2013

Yep, it's that time again! Time for good good and nice nice. Time for laughs and snickers. Time for full frontal hugs and back slaps. But, I digress! It's the Christmas season and it's time for another side splitting edition of a Truly Bizarro Christmas! If you're new to this here blog, a. where have you been?, b. heave to and trice up!

The usual cast of characters is present. In no particular order of importance-

Brian as Brandt
Christy as Chrystal
Mandy as Mindy
Rohan as Rod
Troy as Richard
Becca as Becky
introducing:
Travis as Trance
Rachel as Raquel
Roy as Rock

Christmas morning and the birds are heard chirping, soft gentle breeze whisks the tree limbs, and a snore is heard something so fierce, who could it be?

At the Peters/Robinson abode-
Brandt: babe, is everything on track for our big festive Christmas dinner?
Chrystal: yes hon, are you ready to go pick it up?
Brandt: pick what up?
Chrytsal: the food?
Brandt: o, of course, I thought you were making.....
Chrystal: what? you thought I was making a meal for everyone?? I worked 12 hours yesterday, I'm pooped!
Brandt: no worries hon, I have a massage therapist coming before everyone gets here to a number on your shoulders and back!
Chrystal: awesome!!
Brandt: he kind of looks like Tom Hardy in the face a little bit!
Chrystal runs into the bathroom to clean up and apply makeup in anticipation of her massage.

Meanwhile at the Buck residence
Rod has turned up the music because Mindy is snoring like a freight train
Rod: all I want for Christmas is to beat Brandt in basketball, he just won't shut it! I mean I had the winning layup but I tripped! stupid shoes...
Mindy arouses from her deep snoring slumber
Mindy: Rod?? Rod??
Rod puts down his miniature basketball and attends to Mindy's screams for help.
Mindy: Rod??
Rod: yes, Mindy! what is wrong?
Mindy: O nothing, I awoke to a loud screeching deafening noise!
Rod: I think half the block heard!
Mindy: what?

Raquel: Trance, do we have directions to Brandt's and Chrystal's house?
Trance just arrived back home from an exhausting tai kwon doe session
Trance: no idea.. (wiping sweat from his brow)
Raquel: well, maybe I can ask Facebook and see if anyone knows..
Trance begins to offer up the solution of google mapping the address but leaves well enough alone.

Richard and Becky are still asleep from building their squids a bike and swing set from the night before.

Rock is only on his 3rd hour of sleep from a long night of Billy Bob's and the like..

It's 4:30pm sharp and the time has come to commence Christmas celebratories.

Brandt: Chrystal, you think this shirt looks good with these pants?
Chrystal: babe, I'm gonna subscribe you to a men's magazine that helps you with these things.
Brandt is left standing there, shirt untucked, belt unclasped and one sock on..

*ding ding*

Chrystal: hon, get the door, I'm running behind here, still have make-up and hair to do..
Brandt hurriedly tidies himself and opens the door.
Mindy and Rod make their grand entrance and hand off their jackets to Brandt. unknowingly, Brandt makes way to the kitchen and Mindy and Rod plop on the couch eating the prepared snacks. (jackets are lying in heap on the floor)

*ding ding*
Brandt hurries to the door so his bride can continue to ready herself.
Becky and Richard enter and promptly step right on the jackets left by Mindy and Rod.
Becky murmurs to herself about the mess on the floor, Richard quiets his wife as not to offend anyone.
Chrystal makes her much anticipated entrance to find Mindy and Rod scarfing down table snacks and Becky and Richard toe nudging the jackets in a judgemental pose.

Becky: sorry we're late but we had a long night last night!
Brandt: let's keep that to ourselves why don't we?
Richard: dude, we had so much wrapping, it was crazy! Brandt, what did you think she meant?
Brandt: O, nothing, nothing at all! (nervously, eats a cheese ball from the snack table)

*ding ding*
Chrystal opens the door to find Raquel and Trance with their little girl named Lake!
come on in guys, welcome! Raquel attempts to hand Chrystal her jacket but Chrystal is already setting the table!
Trance: do they not have a jacket hanger? who doesn't have one of those? who's jackets are on the floor?
Raquel notices the mess of jackets on the floor, and steps over them..

Rock is counting sheep still at his apartment!

Brandt makes a toast to the assembled crew.
Brandt: I would like to thank everyone for coming. Remember the reason for the season, pray for one another and bless this food to our bodies, Amen!
Mindy: where's Rock?
Trance: last I heard, he went out with some friends last night!
Raquel, maybe I should Facebook him and see what's up!
Chrystal hands plates to everyone and dinner commences.

Good time was had by all!
Mindy: this food is delicious. ( not knowing she has crumbs on her bottom lip)
Rod motions to Mindy to wipe her lip off, but Mindy perceives this as a wave and waves back.
Brandt sips on his wine and discusses Cowboys football with Richard. Richard wants none of this, because he is done being a fan..
Becky motions to Richard that it is time to go. (her parents are kid-sitting just for this special occasion, so Becky doesn't want to kill the whole night away here at Brandt and Chrystal's)

Brandt: I'm glad everyone came over and had a good time! I think just visiting with everyone is better than buying gifts. I believe Christmas is more than spending money on unnecessary presents.
Mindy: I like presents...
Rod: Mindy, let's go, we have ding dong cake ready at the house.
Chrystal: thank you everyone for coming, I enjoyed seeing all of ya'll..

Trance: Raquel, pack up Lake, we need to get on the road to Austin.
Raquel: do you have directions?
Trance: it;s straight down 35, who needs directions?
Raquel: well, I can jump on Facebook if needed!

Mindy and Rod pick up their jackets off the floor, wondering how they got there!
Becky and Richard stop off and the nearest Harley Davidson store.
Rock finally wakes up to find his phone has 22 text messages and numerous voicemails.
Chrystal and Brandt see off everyone and close the door.
Brandt takes his wife in his arms and slow dances to Christmas music!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.....