previously on the Superfriends
in a land far far away-
Mandy: Rohan, can you go to the store for me?
Rohan: why?
Mandy: it would help me out immensely...
Rohan: ummm....
Mandy: plus, I need more tuna!
Rohan: smh..
across the pond-
Christy: babe, when we going to put the Christmas tree up?
Brian: well, I'm ready! (is holding his UT bear ornament)
Christy: oh, so you're ready like, right now?
Brian: yes, you asked and I'm ready!
Christy: ok, well let me paint my toe nails first!
Brian stands in the center of the living room still holding his UT bear ornament
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been determined by the Sainted Matriarchs at Babe's Chicken that the Superfriends Fake Radio Show will commence. Mama Pegues, Mama Robinson, and Grandma wanted their three chick-a-dees to carry on with their fun and frivolity. In reality, Mama Pegues needed to get to work and actually save human souls, Mama Robinson needed to get home so she can play with her great granddaughter and Grandma just wanted to hurry home and make sure her DVR recorded Days of Our Lives. There was one caveat though from Mama Pegues, in order for this happen Mandy and Rohan had to come back and live in the great state!
ring ring, ring ring
Mandy: (picks up the phone) hello
Mama Pegues: hello sweet Mandy!
Mandy: hi mama!
Mama Pegues: it is done!
Mandy: ok! bye... (hangs up the phone)
Mandy: Rohan..............................
Rohan: yes, dear! why you yelling, I'm 5 feet away!
Mandy: we have to go to Texas!
Rohan: why?
Mandy: don't worry about that, just get to packing! (throws a suitcase at Rohan)
ASIDE- Rohan doesn't know but Mandy has pulled some strings with her brother-in-law and secured a position in the Fort Worth Police Department for Rohan. END OF ASIDE
as Mandy and Rohan arrive in Texas, Brian is quickly reconnoitering any and all Superfriend show ideas as his beautiful wife Christy furiously pounds out her resume for the National Geographic Philippines magazine social media editor.
Brian is getting the gang back together by hosting a Superfriends Gala at David's BBQ.
*In attendance- Brian (host), Christy (thinking she is meeting a representative for National Geographic for an interview), Troy (here for the free beer), Mandy (giddy co-host of the Superfriends), Rohan (confused Australian police officer stuck in Texas), Mama Pegues (holding a celebratory ding dong cake), Mama Robinson (making sure everyone has their food and drinks, even though the wait staff at David's is present), and Grandma (who wonders if they have margaritas)
Brian: ok, everyone take a seat please.
Christy stands in defiance waiting on her husband to pull her chair out for her to sit down.
Troy: what's up bro!
Brian: well, I am proud and even happier to announce that we have decided to renew our Superfriends radio show!
*crickets can be heard*
silence is broken when Mandy starts clapping uncontrollably in excitement!
Christy is not amused but will help fill in until her National Geographic interview is done.
Troy hi-fives Brian but whispers softly in his ear: I get one free beer a show!
Brian gives Troy a slow nodding look..
Rohan is slumped in a chair, with a confused look on his face!!
Grandma is seen giving the manager at David's the what for, for not selling margaritas.
Join us next time, as we embark on another exciting series of the very fake but real Superfriends radio show!
Will Rohan recover? Will Troy get his free beers? Will Christy get that interview?
tune in brutha......
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The Beautiful People
previously on the Superfriends-
in the land of kangaroos, koala bears and aborigines
Mandy is on the phone with her mama, "Yes Mama, two o'clock, be there.."
Rohan is annihilating the last of the meat pies.
back in the great state
Brian is on the phone with this sainted grandma, "Ok, grandma, we need to be there at two o'clock."
Grandma: ok, see you then! real quick let me tell you about my tree and garden problem....
Brian: grandma, I need to go so I can make Christy her coffee. if mama ain't happy no one is happy.
Grandma: ok, two o'clock right??
Brian: yes!
Christy is laying in bed talking to her mom on the phone. "yes mom, I don't know why we need to meet at two o'clock but that is what Brian said."
Mama Robinson: ok, well if Brian said it, it must be important.
Christy: mom, don't stick up for him!
Mama Robinson: I'm not! but if he said it....
Christy: ok, ok, see you then..
Brian and Christy pick Mandy up from the airport
Everyone is assembled and the meeting is ready to commence.
Christy: why are we at Babe's Chicken? there is not a whole lot I can eat here...
Mandy: Christy, shhhh, we're not eating here!
Brian: yes babe, this is part of the plan... We are going to Joe T's anyways.
Mandy: yes those three have some important business to attend too.
As the three young and spry Superfriends make their way to Joe T's, the three sainted women meet and greet about what is next for their offspring.
Mama Pegues: lets open in a word of prayer/
Mama Robinson: ok, but let me go to the restroom real quick.
Grandma: do they have margaritas here?
Mama Pegues: well, Mrs. Robinson, my prayer won't take to long.. and Miss Grandma, that is heathen drink.
Grandma: might be heathen drink but it tastes so good.
Mama Robinson: ooo, look at all the poor animal heads on the walls.
Grandma: aw, that's nothing, my husband Gene, killed deers, fish and quails with his bare hands!
Mama Pegues: well, it is our right to bare arms!
Grandma: I have proof, wanna see? (she pulls out from her purse a picture of 8 deers strung up by their hooven feet from a tree)
Mama Robinson: that's grisly!! your husband was a nice looking man though..
Grandma: sure was, we've been married 62 years..
the three Superfriends arrive at Joe T's
Mandy: I can't wait to eat, my stomach has longed for good messican food.
Brian: what, they don't have mexican restaurants in Australia? (giggle)
Mandy smacks her head
Christy has already ordered the queso with chips and salsa
Brian: hey guys, do we really think is gonna work?
Mandy: what? the queso and chips are already here.
Brian: Mandy, lets use that noggin for a second, ok! I mean, Mrs Pegues, Mrs. Robinson and my grandma are deciding our fate with the radio station...
Christy: well, I hope they choose wisely!
Mandy: my mama wants what is best for us, as long as there is no special government funding involved!
Brian: well, my grandma doesn't care either way, as long as she has a good stiff margarita and a gravied up chicken fried steak.
Mandy: Brian, doesn't she have diabetes?
Brian: yes, but don't worry about that! she's done real good lately.
Christy is chastising the server, (who no doubt is from TCU) because they brought flour tortillas instead of corn..
back at Babe's
Mama Pegues: well, I think what those three kids do is great! My sweet Mandy is a fine young woman but she does have an affinity for tuna!
Mama Robinson: well, MY sweet daughter already has a great job at the Dallas Morning News as some fancy dancy Facebook internet manager.
Grandma: well, my very loving grandson has had such a hard childhood and all until we took him and sister in and raised them best we can! so, I say, let him follow his dream!
back at Joe T's
Mandy is slumped over in the chair from a food coma.
Brian is ordering seconds on the fajitas.
Christy is taking pictures of the scenic patio
The fate of the Superfriends is now firmly in the hands of Mama Pegues, Mama Robinson and Grandma!
Will the show go on? Will grandma get a second margarita? Will Mama Robinson and Mama Pegues allow the Superfriends to carry on?
Join us next time as the future of the Superfriends radio show is revealed...
in the land of kangaroos, koala bears and aborigines
Mandy is on the phone with her mama, "Yes Mama, two o'clock, be there.."
Rohan is annihilating the last of the meat pies.
back in the great state
Brian is on the phone with this sainted grandma, "Ok, grandma, we need to be there at two o'clock."
Grandma: ok, see you then! real quick let me tell you about my tree and garden problem....
Brian: grandma, I need to go so I can make Christy her coffee. if mama ain't happy no one is happy.
Grandma: ok, two o'clock right??
Brian: yes!
Christy is laying in bed talking to her mom on the phone. "yes mom, I don't know why we need to meet at two o'clock but that is what Brian said."
Mama Robinson: ok, well if Brian said it, it must be important.
Christy: mom, don't stick up for him!
Mama Robinson: I'm not! but if he said it....
Christy: ok, ok, see you then..
Brian and Christy pick Mandy up from the airport
Everyone is assembled and the meeting is ready to commence.
Christy: why are we at Babe's Chicken? there is not a whole lot I can eat here...
Mandy: Christy, shhhh, we're not eating here!
Brian: yes babe, this is part of the plan... We are going to Joe T's anyways.
Mandy: yes those three have some important business to attend too.
As the three young and spry Superfriends make their way to Joe T's, the three sainted women meet and greet about what is next for their offspring.
Mama Pegues: lets open in a word of prayer/
Mama Robinson: ok, but let me go to the restroom real quick.
Grandma: do they have margaritas here?
Mama Pegues: well, Mrs. Robinson, my prayer won't take to long.. and Miss Grandma, that is heathen drink.
Grandma: might be heathen drink but it tastes so good.
Mama Robinson: ooo, look at all the poor animal heads on the walls.
Grandma: aw, that's nothing, my husband Gene, killed deers, fish and quails with his bare hands!
Mama Pegues: well, it is our right to bare arms!
Grandma: I have proof, wanna see? (she pulls out from her purse a picture of 8 deers strung up by their hooven feet from a tree)
Mama Robinson: that's grisly!! your husband was a nice looking man though..
Grandma: sure was, we've been married 62 years..
the three Superfriends arrive at Joe T's
Mandy: I can't wait to eat, my stomach has longed for good messican food.
Brian: what, they don't have mexican restaurants in Australia? (giggle)
Mandy smacks her head
Christy has already ordered the queso with chips and salsa
Brian: hey guys, do we really think is gonna work?
Mandy: what? the queso and chips are already here.
Brian: Mandy, lets use that noggin for a second, ok! I mean, Mrs Pegues, Mrs. Robinson and my grandma are deciding our fate with the radio station...
Christy: well, I hope they choose wisely!
Mandy: my mama wants what is best for us, as long as there is no special government funding involved!
Brian: well, my grandma doesn't care either way, as long as she has a good stiff margarita and a gravied up chicken fried steak.
Mandy: Brian, doesn't she have diabetes?
Brian: yes, but don't worry about that! she's done real good lately.
Christy is chastising the server, (who no doubt is from TCU) because they brought flour tortillas instead of corn..
back at Babe's
Mama Pegues: well, I think what those three kids do is great! My sweet Mandy is a fine young woman but she does have an affinity for tuna!
Mama Robinson: well, MY sweet daughter already has a great job at the Dallas Morning News as some fancy dancy Facebook internet manager.
Grandma: well, my very loving grandson has had such a hard childhood and all until we took him and sister in and raised them best we can! so, I say, let him follow his dream!
back at Joe T's
Mandy is slumped over in the chair from a food coma.
Brian is ordering seconds on the fajitas.
Christy is taking pictures of the scenic patio
The fate of the Superfriends is now firmly in the hands of Mama Pegues, Mama Robinson and Grandma!
Will the show go on? Will grandma get a second margarita? Will Mama Robinson and Mama Pegues allow the Superfriends to carry on?
Join us next time as the future of the Superfriends radio show is revealed...
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Rage Against the Machine
Previously on the Superfriends!
In the wilds of Australia-
Mandy is on a ladder putting up boxes on a shelf
Rohan is watching from the couch and double watching the t.v.
Mandy: Ro, can you help, this ladder is kind of wobbly!
Rohan: Mandy, you're only on the second rung...
Mandy: I know but....
all of a sudden; crash, boom, kerplunk, fart, thwap!!!
Rohan: Mandy!!!!! you ok?
Mandy: (mutters) yes, I think...
Rohan: did you fart when you fell? lol...
At the Peters/Robinson residence
Christy: I'm going for a run, Brian, you want to join me?
Brian: how long you running?
Christy: 12 miles!
Brian: no, I'm too out of shape for all that.
Christy: but that's the only way to get in shape..
Brian: I know but 12 miles???
Christy: well, ok, then, I'm off!
Brian is seen mapping out his 1 mile run...
Meanwhile, in the Burbs
Troy is seen working on his motorcycle
Becca, Troy's loving wife, is playing with the kiddos.
Troy: hey, Becca, want to invite Brian and Christy over this weekend for the Cowboy game?
Becca: sure as long as Brian doesn't wear his man-capris and I don't have to put sausage in the queso.
Troy stares off in the yonder, contemplating life!
Christy: Brian, so what now since our fake radio show is done?
Brian: what do you mean?
Christy: I mean what are you going to do NOW?!
Brian: well, I thought I could still do a show on my own but maybe once a week! what do you think?
Christy: I think that blows.....
Brian stands alone in his own silence
Christy: I need to get to work! will you drive me?
Brian: sure babe.. do you have your phone?
Christy: ughh, no, where is it?
Brian: I don't know!
Christy: will you call it?
Brian: ughhh...
Christy: never mind, it's right here in my hand!
Across the globe-
Mandy: Ro, I think I hurt my back when I fell?
Rohan: Aw, Mandy, lets not get carried away??
Mandy looks out the window and dreams of her Superfriends back home.
Rohan: Mandy, what's for dinner?
Mandy: tuna fish sandwiches..
Back in the great state-
Brian has driven his beau to work and now sits at his makeshift desk and plans what day to do his newly formatted show perfectly called the Peters Power Hour!
Join us next time to see if Mandy and Rohan indeed did have tuna fish sandwiches for dinner?
Is Christy ok with her extremely handsome husband's new show?
Did Becca make the queso with sausage?
More questions than I answers!
In the wilds of Australia-
Mandy is on a ladder putting up boxes on a shelf
Rohan is watching from the couch and double watching the t.v.
Mandy: Ro, can you help, this ladder is kind of wobbly!
Rohan: Mandy, you're only on the second rung...
Mandy: I know but....
all of a sudden; crash, boom, kerplunk, fart, thwap!!!
Rohan: Mandy!!!!! you ok?
Mandy: (mutters) yes, I think...
Rohan: did you fart when you fell? lol...
At the Peters/Robinson residence
Christy: I'm going for a run, Brian, you want to join me?
Brian: how long you running?
Christy: 12 miles!
Brian: no, I'm too out of shape for all that.
Christy: but that's the only way to get in shape..
Brian: I know but 12 miles???
Christy: well, ok, then, I'm off!
Brian is seen mapping out his 1 mile run...
Meanwhile, in the Burbs
Troy is seen working on his motorcycle
Becca, Troy's loving wife, is playing with the kiddos.
Troy: hey, Becca, want to invite Brian and Christy over this weekend for the Cowboy game?
Becca: sure as long as Brian doesn't wear his man-capris and I don't have to put sausage in the queso.
Troy stares off in the yonder, contemplating life!
Christy: Brian, so what now since our fake radio show is done?
Brian: what do you mean?
Christy: I mean what are you going to do NOW?!
Brian: well, I thought I could still do a show on my own but maybe once a week! what do you think?
Christy: I think that blows.....
Brian stands alone in his own silence
Christy: I need to get to work! will you drive me?
Brian: sure babe.. do you have your phone?
Christy: ughh, no, where is it?
Brian: I don't know!
Christy: will you call it?
Brian: ughhh...
Christy: never mind, it's right here in my hand!
Across the globe-
Mandy: Ro, I think I hurt my back when I fell?
Rohan: Aw, Mandy, lets not get carried away??
Mandy looks out the window and dreams of her Superfriends back home.
Rohan: Mandy, what's for dinner?
Mandy: tuna fish sandwiches..
Back in the great state-
Brian has driven his beau to work and now sits at his makeshift desk and plans what day to do his newly formatted show perfectly called the Peters Power Hour!
Join us next time to see if Mandy and Rohan indeed did have tuna fish sandwiches for dinner?
Is Christy ok with her extremely handsome husband's new show?
Did Becca make the queso with sausage?
More questions than I answers!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2011
Yep! It's that time of year already... Christmas is nigh upon us. This here blog is meant for giggles, smiles, knee slaps and the like! If you or your loved ones ever get offended by anything written, then please grow up and remember everything is not about you!! Also, for continuity's sake, please read all the other Bizarro Christmas blogs from the years past. It will make all this drivel more sense, even for you Mandy.
Cast-
Starring:
Brian as Brandt
Christy as Chrystal
Mandy as Mindy
Rohan as Rod
Troy as Richard
Becca as Becky
Featuring:
Tiffani as Trixy
Cameo Appearances by
Juanell as Juanita
Grandma as MawMaw
Now that all the loose ends have been tied up, on with the blog!
Brandt: hey babe! you know what we should do for Christmas this year?
Chrystal: what is that? How about we all go Twilight Breaking Dawn??
Brandt: ummm no!
Chrystal: well, it was only a suggestion!
Brandt: and a good one at that hon! how about.......
Chrystal: why don't you ever call me by my name?? instead of babe and hon??
Brandt: (looking utterly dumbfounded and simply confused) I don't know!
Chrystal: I mean my name is Chrystal, no babe, or hon, or sweets or.....
Brandt: ok, ok! sorry!!! Chrystal, how about....
Chrystal: (has her mom, Juanita, on the phone) mom, you there?
Juanita: HELLO! Chrystal, you there??
Chrystal: Mom, I'm here, hang on I got a question!
Juanita: I'm in the vortex, what is it?
Chrystal: you answered your phone in the vortex??
Juanita: yes, why? (muffles sound, inaudible, tells stranger: ok, thanks)
Chrystal: I have a quick question, do you think it is weird that Brandt only calls me by babe, or hon, or somesuch?
Juanita: Chrystal, just let him do that I think it is sweet!
Chrystal: *sigh* ok, Mom, gotta go!
Juanita: I do too, I have my Silver Sneakers I need to get to. bye!
Chrystal: ok, bye! (hanging up the phone)
Juanita: wait, I got.....
Chrystal hangs up.
-
Brandt: how about we do a gift exchange this year? we haven't done that in years.
Chrystal: yeah, that sounds like a plan.
*phone rings*
Chrystal: hello!
Mindy: hey girl! so what is the big plan for Christmas?
Chrystal: well we are going to do a gift exchange this year. you in?
Mindy: sure!
Chrystal: I'm going to send out a tweet to everyone...
Mindy: but I don't have a twitter account!!
Chrystal: umm ok, but everyone is using it now instead of facebook. but I'll send one there as well to.
Mindy: (claps and giggles) ok!
-
Rod: Mindy, are we going over to Brandt and Chrystal's this year for Christmas?
Mindy: yes, why?
Rod: because, every time we go Brandt has to rub it in my face about beating me in basketball!
Mindy: Rod, that happened, like in June..
Rod: I know, but I'm still a little sore and all...
Mindy: we'll have fun.. maybe you can beat him in a staring contest!
Rod: no! already tried....
Mindy: wait, you mean you already....
Rod: yes!
-
Chrystal: ok all the tweets and facebook messages have been sent!
Brandt: good CHRYSTAL!
Chrystal: oh yea! see you did it...
Brandt: whatever makes you happy babe!
Chrystal smiles
December 24 6:30pm----------- at the Peters/Robinson residence
Mindy and Rod arrive with gifts and tuna fish salad
Richard and Becky arrive with gifts and Shiner Bock
Trixy and her new beau Jeremiah arrive with gifts and a keg
Brandt: welcome one and all. Trixy, why dont you introduce to us your new friend.
Trixy: everyone, this is Jeremiah, he is Vice President of the Dallas DJ Association.
everyone oohh's and aahh's.
Brandt: ok, Chrystal has prepared a fine feast for all!
Chrystal: yes on the menu this year is, gluten free mac and cheese, house salad, grilled tilapia, with fudge for dessert.
Mindy wipes the drool from her mouth.
Richard opens up the Shiner for everyone.
Rod: Richard, I don't drink but thanks.
Richard: (under his breath to Becky) watching your figure are we??
Rod: what was that Richard?
Richard: O, nothing, just whispering sweet nothings to my wife!
Mindy: well y'all have 2 kids, why not more!!!?
Brandt: (sees this is not going good) ok, well lets get our plates!
Chrystal is still on her very rigid 3-3-2 minute breakdown on the fish.
20 seconds she yells!
everyone forms left..
with much grubbing and table talk Brandt motions for everyone to the living room
Mindy: Brandt, why motion us, the living room is 5 feet from the kitchen!
Brandt: are you always like this??
Rod: (steps in) like what?
Brandt: hey, Rod, hows your basketball game coming?
Rod walks away in a huff
-
Chrystal: ok, everyone ready?
Mindy claps and giggles for no reason
Trixy: Mindy, do you need to go to the bathroom?
Mindy: no, why? (continues clapping and giggling)
Chrystal: ok, I suggest everyone open all together!
Brandt/Mindy/Rod/Becky/Richard/Trixy/Jeremiah: no lets open separately!!!
Chrystal: ok, if I had to slave in the kitchen for all you to come over here, eat, not clean up, and eat all my fudge, we're opening gifts together!!!
Brandt calms the masses and agrees!
Richard drinks a Shiner and says: I'm with the majority!
Trixy: ok ok! fine...
Jeremiah: let me mix up some Christmas jingles...
Beastie Boys Christmas Rock is lightly playing the background
Chrystal: good selection Jeremiah!
Becky looks at Richard and asks: who is this playing?
-
all gifts have been opened and here is the rundown
Brandt received Dallas Cowboy hoodie
Chrystal received an Ulta gift card
Richard received a Shiner Bock wall clock
Becky received a Target gift card
Trixy received a tree hammock
Jeremiah received a fedora
Rod received a indoor basketball
Mindy received a Sammy the Starfish Tuna autograph
Mindy: what the heck??
Rod: Mindy, lets not be ungrateful!
Mindy: I mean, I don't even like tuna!
Chrystal is already halfway our the door on her way to Ulta...
Brandt and Richard discuss Brandt's new Cowboy hoodie
Richard sets the time on his Shiner Bock clock
Becky has Target dollar signs racing through her head
Trixy is instagramming her hammock
Jeremiah is pulling a Tony Romo with his fedora and continues to spin his DJ mix cd's
Brandt: well, I'm glad everyone had a good time! Merry Christmas.......
Mindy: TUNA, really??
Rod bounces the basketball between his legs and dribbles it off his knee
everyone packs up and says their goodbye's!
Brandt looks around and is humbled by such great friends and a even better wife!
Chrystal: babe, I have a gift for you right here!
Chrystal pulls Brandt in for a very wifely kiss
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!!!
P.S. any similarities in character or personalities was not intended. if you were offended or hurt, please call 1-800-idon'tcare.
Thank you for reading another award winning edition of a Truly Bizarro Christmas!
Cast-
Starring:
Brian as Brandt
Christy as Chrystal
Mandy as Mindy
Rohan as Rod
Troy as Richard
Becca as Becky
Featuring:
Tiffani as Trixy
Cameo Appearances by
Juanell as Juanita
Grandma as MawMaw
Now that all the loose ends have been tied up, on with the blog!
Brandt: hey babe! you know what we should do for Christmas this year?
Chrystal: what is that? How about we all go Twilight Breaking Dawn??
Brandt: ummm no!
Chrystal: well, it was only a suggestion!
Brandt: and a good one at that hon! how about.......
Chrystal: why don't you ever call me by my name?? instead of babe and hon??
Brandt: (looking utterly dumbfounded and simply confused) I don't know!
Chrystal: I mean my name is Chrystal, no babe, or hon, or sweets or.....
Brandt: ok, ok! sorry!!! Chrystal, how about....
Chrystal: (has her mom, Juanita, on the phone) mom, you there?
Juanita: HELLO! Chrystal, you there??
Chrystal: Mom, I'm here, hang on I got a question!
Juanita: I'm in the vortex, what is it?
Chrystal: you answered your phone in the vortex??
Juanita: yes, why? (muffles sound, inaudible, tells stranger: ok, thanks)
Chrystal: I have a quick question, do you think it is weird that Brandt only calls me by babe, or hon, or somesuch?
Juanita: Chrystal, just let him do that I think it is sweet!
Chrystal: *sigh* ok, Mom, gotta go!
Juanita: I do too, I have my Silver Sneakers I need to get to. bye!
Chrystal: ok, bye! (hanging up the phone)
Juanita: wait, I got.....
Chrystal hangs up.
-
Brandt: how about we do a gift exchange this year? we haven't done that in years.
Chrystal: yeah, that sounds like a plan.
*phone rings*
Chrystal: hello!
Mindy: hey girl! so what is the big plan for Christmas?
Chrystal: well we are going to do a gift exchange this year. you in?
Mindy: sure!
Chrystal: I'm going to send out a tweet to everyone...
Mindy: but I don't have a twitter account!!
Chrystal: umm ok, but everyone is using it now instead of facebook. but I'll send one there as well to.
Mindy: (claps and giggles) ok!
-
Rod: Mindy, are we going over to Brandt and Chrystal's this year for Christmas?
Mindy: yes, why?
Rod: because, every time we go Brandt has to rub it in my face about beating me in basketball!
Mindy: Rod, that happened, like in June..
Rod: I know, but I'm still a little sore and all...
Mindy: we'll have fun.. maybe you can beat him in a staring contest!
Rod: no! already tried....
Mindy: wait, you mean you already....
Rod: yes!
-
Chrystal: ok all the tweets and facebook messages have been sent!
Brandt: good CHRYSTAL!
Chrystal: oh yea! see you did it...
Brandt: whatever makes you happy babe!
Chrystal smiles
December 24 6:30pm----------- at the Peters/Robinson residence
Mindy and Rod arrive with gifts and tuna fish salad
Richard and Becky arrive with gifts and Shiner Bock
Trixy and her new beau Jeremiah arrive with gifts and a keg
Brandt: welcome one and all. Trixy, why dont you introduce to us your new friend.
Trixy: everyone, this is Jeremiah, he is Vice President of the Dallas DJ Association.
everyone oohh's and aahh's.
Brandt: ok, Chrystal has prepared a fine feast for all!
Chrystal: yes on the menu this year is, gluten free mac and cheese, house salad, grilled tilapia, with fudge for dessert.
Mindy wipes the drool from her mouth.
Richard opens up the Shiner for everyone.
Rod: Richard, I don't drink but thanks.
Richard: (under his breath to Becky) watching your figure are we??
Rod: what was that Richard?
Richard: O, nothing, just whispering sweet nothings to my wife!
Mindy: well y'all have 2 kids, why not more!!!?
Brandt: (sees this is not going good) ok, well lets get our plates!
Chrystal is still on her very rigid 3-3-2 minute breakdown on the fish.
20 seconds she yells!
everyone forms left..
with much grubbing and table talk Brandt motions for everyone to the living room
Mindy: Brandt, why motion us, the living room is 5 feet from the kitchen!
Brandt: are you always like this??
Rod: (steps in) like what?
Brandt: hey, Rod, hows your basketball game coming?
Rod walks away in a huff
-
Chrystal: ok, everyone ready?
Mindy claps and giggles for no reason
Trixy: Mindy, do you need to go to the bathroom?
Mindy: no, why? (continues clapping and giggling)
Chrystal: ok, I suggest everyone open all together!
Brandt/Mindy/Rod/Becky/Richard/Trixy/Jeremiah: no lets open separately!!!
Chrystal: ok, if I had to slave in the kitchen for all you to come over here, eat, not clean up, and eat all my fudge, we're opening gifts together!!!
Brandt calms the masses and agrees!
Richard drinks a Shiner and says: I'm with the majority!
Trixy: ok ok! fine...
Jeremiah: let me mix up some Christmas jingles...
Beastie Boys Christmas Rock is lightly playing the background
Chrystal: good selection Jeremiah!
Becky looks at Richard and asks: who is this playing?
-
all gifts have been opened and here is the rundown
Brandt received Dallas Cowboy hoodie
Chrystal received an Ulta gift card
Richard received a Shiner Bock wall clock
Becky received a Target gift card
Trixy received a tree hammock
Jeremiah received a fedora
Rod received a indoor basketball
Mindy received a Sammy the Starfish Tuna autograph
Mindy: what the heck??
Rod: Mindy, lets not be ungrateful!
Mindy: I mean, I don't even like tuna!
Chrystal is already halfway our the door on her way to Ulta...
Brandt and Richard discuss Brandt's new Cowboy hoodie
Richard sets the time on his Shiner Bock clock
Becky has Target dollar signs racing through her head
Trixy is instagramming her hammock
Jeremiah is pulling a Tony Romo with his fedora and continues to spin his DJ mix cd's
Brandt: well, I'm glad everyone had a good time! Merry Christmas.......
Mindy: TUNA, really??
Rod bounces the basketball between his legs and dribbles it off his knee
everyone packs up and says their goodbye's!
Brandt looks around and is humbled by such great friends and a even better wife!
Chrystal: babe, I have a gift for you right here!
Chrystal pulls Brandt in for a very wifely kiss
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!!!
P.S. any similarities in character or personalities was not intended. if you were offended or hurt, please call 1-800-idon'tcare.
Thank you for reading another award winning edition of a Truly Bizarro Christmas!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Days of Our Lives
*now that it seems that our fake radio show, The Superfriends, has been canceled, lets see what our friends are up to these days*
-aboard flight 93 headed to Australia-
Mandy is snoring and drooling in her seat as Rohan catches up on some highlights from the Dallas Mavericks NBA championship win
Mandy (snore, drool, burp)
Rohan: man this Dirk guy is good! (wonders to himself, again why did I lose to Brian in basketball)
flight attendant: excuse me sir, can you tell your wife to quiet down please? she is causing a ruckus!
Rohan: (embarrassed) sure no problem. hey Mandy, (nudges her) quiet down, your embarrassing me.
5 minutes later
flight attendant: excuse me sir, can you please wake you wife, she is snoring something fierce!
Rohan: (nudges) Mandy, wake up!
Mandy: (semi-awake) what, huh?
Rohan: you're snoring too loud!
Mandy wipes the drool from her mouth and continues sleeping.
Rohan puts his earbuds in and fires up some Metallica.
Mandy awakens to the said Metallica blaring from Rohan's head phones and screams, "Rohan, you're being too loud!"
Rohan slumps in his chair as knows they still have 18 hours left on their flight.
-back in the great state of Texas-
*crickets, leaves rustling, the sound of hot ensues-
Brian in a little girls voice, "Christy it is too hot!"
Christy: no it's not!
Brian checks his phone for a weather update, and it is a sweaty 108.
Brian: babe, it is 108!
Christy: Brian, man-up! put your big boy panties on and help me with this tent.
-Christy and Brian are in LLano Texas, camping for the weekend.
Brian mutters under his breath, "it's too hot!"
Christy: what was that Brian??
Brian: I said it is er, um, I need a shot! (looking like death warmed over)
Christy: once we put up the tent we can go climb the Rock! (the rock is called Enchanted Rock)
Brian: but, I need my xanax to kick in first!
Christy: (sigh) well get after it then, mama, needs to go on a hike...
Brian: (mutters) don't tell me what to do?
Christy: throws the poles at Brian and you make the tent, I'm going for a run!
Brian is left standing with a heap of tentness and has no clue what to do.
Christy is seen running out on a rocky trail for her daily run.
Brian: I wish we were staying in Fredericksburg, this is silliness!
5 yr. old boy camper: hey, you need some help mister?
Brian: with what? oh this, nah, I can handle it!
5 yr. old camper: doesn't look like it, let me help.
5 yr. old camper proceeds to put up the tent post haste.
Brian: wait, let me help those poles are heavy!
5 yr. old camper ignores Brian and puts up the tent and wanders back over to parents campsite.
Brian looks on in wonder.
the little boy can be seen giving his dad a hi-five and throws a football back and forth with him.
Brian sits in a heap of sweat and embarrassment.
Christy has returned from her jaunt and is amazed that Brian has put the tent up all by himself.
Christy: good job babe!
Brian: but, I didn't....
Christy: what, it looks good!
Brian: you're not hearing me...
Christy: just take a compliment, geeze!
Brian takes his xanax and is ready to climb Enchanted Rock.
-meanwhile in the burbs of North Richland Hills-
Troy is seen playing with kids and his wife Becca come into the room all excited!
Becca: Troy!!!!!!!!!!!
Troy with baby toys tossed to and fro, "yes dear"
Becca: I'm pregnant!!!!
Troy: what??? again???
Becca: yes!!! (in joyous hysterics)
Troy is left to ponder how and why...
-flight 93 has landed in Geelong, Australia-
Rohan awakens Mandy and they leave the airplane
Mandy: Rohan, do you ever think about our fake radio show?
Rohan: Mandy, we just got back home! it's not even been 24 hours....
Mandy: I know I know, but it was so much fun working with Brian and Christy.
Rohan: well, I've had enough of the Texas heat, Brian beating me repeatedly in basketball, and being away from home...
Mandy: well, it just seems like we could figure something out about it!
Rohan: like what?
Mandy: maybe we could do it still, like an overseas show.
Rohan: Mandy, lets go please. I have some fishing to do.
Mandy: alright! (looks longing out the car window, as they drive to their house)
-back at Enchanted Rock-
Christy and Brian heave to and trice up the side of the Rock
Christy: see babe, you're a beast!
Brian sheepishly looks around and notices he is about 3/4 of the way to the top
Brian: you know what? I'm well past the point that Mandy has hiked up here! (triumphantly proclaims)
Christy: yes you are dear! she stopped way down there. (points back down the rock)
Brian races his beautiful wife the remaining steps to the top
Christy: see hon, you did awesome!
Brian boldy thrusts his arms in the air and Christy sheds a tear for hubby's great accomplishment
Brian and Christy share a quiet moment and Brian whispers to her,"wonder if we could revive our radio show?"
Christy: but, Mandy and Rohan are in Australia?? and I have a real, I mean, new job...
Brian: just a thought!
-back in North Richland Hills-
Troy is seen cleaning up the toys and rocks baby Chase to bed
Becca has been nonstop on the phone telling all her friends about her impending pregnantness
Troy looks out the window and ponders what it will be like not technically directing the Superfriends radio show
-at Enchanted Rock-
Brian and Christy pack up from their eventful weekend of camping and hiking. while driving out of the park, they turn the radio on and Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix is playing....
Christy looks at Brian and Brian back at Christy, and they both give a knowing nod!
-Geelong, Australia-
Rohan turns on the radio and catches the tale end of Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix and Mandy is giggling at the memories of the Superfriends.
* tune in next time as we rate and debate what will happen next *
goodnight LLano...
-aboard flight 93 headed to Australia-
Mandy is snoring and drooling in her seat as Rohan catches up on some highlights from the Dallas Mavericks NBA championship win
Mandy (snore, drool, burp)
Rohan: man this Dirk guy is good! (wonders to himself, again why did I lose to Brian in basketball)
flight attendant: excuse me sir, can you tell your wife to quiet down please? she is causing a ruckus!
Rohan: (embarrassed) sure no problem. hey Mandy, (nudges her) quiet down, your embarrassing me.
5 minutes later
flight attendant: excuse me sir, can you please wake you wife, she is snoring something fierce!
Rohan: (nudges) Mandy, wake up!
Mandy: (semi-awake) what, huh?
Rohan: you're snoring too loud!
Mandy wipes the drool from her mouth and continues sleeping.
Rohan puts his earbuds in and fires up some Metallica.
Mandy awakens to the said Metallica blaring from Rohan's head phones and screams, "Rohan, you're being too loud!"
Rohan slumps in his chair as knows they still have 18 hours left on their flight.
-back in the great state of Texas-
*crickets, leaves rustling, the sound of hot ensues-
Brian in a little girls voice, "Christy it is too hot!"
Christy: no it's not!
Brian checks his phone for a weather update, and it is a sweaty 108.
Brian: babe, it is 108!
Christy: Brian, man-up! put your big boy panties on and help me with this tent.
-Christy and Brian are in LLano Texas, camping for the weekend.
Brian mutters under his breath, "it's too hot!"
Christy: what was that Brian??
Brian: I said it is er, um, I need a shot! (looking like death warmed over)
Christy: once we put up the tent we can go climb the Rock! (the rock is called Enchanted Rock)
Brian: but, I need my xanax to kick in first!
Christy: (sigh) well get after it then, mama, needs to go on a hike...
Brian: (mutters) don't tell me what to do?
Christy: throws the poles at Brian and you make the tent, I'm going for a run!
Brian is left standing with a heap of tentness and has no clue what to do.
Christy is seen running out on a rocky trail for her daily run.
Brian: I wish we were staying in Fredericksburg, this is silliness!
5 yr. old boy camper: hey, you need some help mister?
Brian: with what? oh this, nah, I can handle it!
5 yr. old camper: doesn't look like it, let me help.
5 yr. old camper proceeds to put up the tent post haste.
Brian: wait, let me help those poles are heavy!
5 yr. old camper ignores Brian and puts up the tent and wanders back over to parents campsite.
Brian looks on in wonder.
the little boy can be seen giving his dad a hi-five and throws a football back and forth with him.
Brian sits in a heap of sweat and embarrassment.
Christy has returned from her jaunt and is amazed that Brian has put the tent up all by himself.
Christy: good job babe!
Brian: but, I didn't....
Christy: what, it looks good!
Brian: you're not hearing me...
Christy: just take a compliment, geeze!
Brian takes his xanax and is ready to climb Enchanted Rock.
-meanwhile in the burbs of North Richland Hills-
Troy is seen playing with kids and his wife Becca come into the room all excited!
Becca: Troy!!!!!!!!!!!
Troy with baby toys tossed to and fro, "yes dear"
Becca: I'm pregnant!!!!
Troy: what??? again???
Becca: yes!!! (in joyous hysterics)
Troy is left to ponder how and why...
-flight 93 has landed in Geelong, Australia-
Rohan awakens Mandy and they leave the airplane
Mandy: Rohan, do you ever think about our fake radio show?
Rohan: Mandy, we just got back home! it's not even been 24 hours....
Mandy: I know I know, but it was so much fun working with Brian and Christy.
Rohan: well, I've had enough of the Texas heat, Brian beating me repeatedly in basketball, and being away from home...
Mandy: well, it just seems like we could figure something out about it!
Rohan: like what?
Mandy: maybe we could do it still, like an overseas show.
Rohan: Mandy, lets go please. I have some fishing to do.
Mandy: alright! (looks longing out the car window, as they drive to their house)
-back at Enchanted Rock-
Christy and Brian heave to and trice up the side of the Rock
Christy: see babe, you're a beast!
Brian sheepishly looks around and notices he is about 3/4 of the way to the top
Brian: you know what? I'm well past the point that Mandy has hiked up here! (triumphantly proclaims)
Christy: yes you are dear! she stopped way down there. (points back down the rock)
Brian races his beautiful wife the remaining steps to the top
Christy: see hon, you did awesome!
Brian boldy thrusts his arms in the air and Christy sheds a tear for hubby's great accomplishment
Brian and Christy share a quiet moment and Brian whispers to her,"wonder if we could revive our radio show?"
Christy: but, Mandy and Rohan are in Australia?? and I have a real, I mean, new job...
Brian: just a thought!
-back in North Richland Hills-
Troy is seen cleaning up the toys and rocks baby Chase to bed
Becca has been nonstop on the phone telling all her friends about her impending pregnantness
Troy looks out the window and ponders what it will be like not technically directing the Superfriends radio show
-at Enchanted Rock-
Brian and Christy pack up from their eventful weekend of camping and hiking. while driving out of the park, they turn the radio on and Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix is playing....
Christy looks at Brian and Brian back at Christy, and they both give a knowing nod!
-Geelong, Australia-
Rohan turns on the radio and catches the tale end of Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix and Mandy is giggling at the memories of the Superfriends.
* tune in next time as we rate and debate what will happen next *
goodnight LLano...
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
End of an Era?
*it has been almost a year since we last heard from the Superfriends*
while digging through piles of dirty clothes, I have unearthed audio which sounds like the last days of the Superfriends broadcast!
Mandy: Rohan, where is my bucket of tuna??
Rohan: Mandy, we are not packing tuna to take with us to Australia!!
Mandy: (looking confused) yes, yes we are...
Rohan: ummmm, no we aren't! they have tuna in Australia.
Mandy looks for her tuna bucket...
-meanwhile at the Peters/Robinson residence-
Brian awakes from his sleep to a bountiful heap of kittens
Brian: arghhhhhhh! what the ................
Christy: (comes running in the room) what happened? did you fall off the bed again?
Brian: (looking unamused) no! what is this? (pointing to the 2 little hair balls of kittens)
Christy: (kicking the ground with her foot) what? these cute little guys??
Brian: yes! where did they come from?
Christy: babe, if I have to explain where kittens come from then......
Brian: not funny! we are not keeping kittens here??
Christy: (makes a sound never ever heard before) YES WE ARE!
Brian looking over at these 2 mops of mess as they bat playfully at each other
Brian: (looking at his beautiful wife) ok.....
Christy: yippee! (does the happy dance)
-meanwhile back at the Buck residence-
Rohan: Mandy, does Brian still have my basketball?
Mandy: yes, remember that was the prize when ya'll played last!
Rohan: ok, ok! don't have to rub it in.
*phone rings*
Mandy: (picks up phone) hello!
on the other end is Christy
Christy: helloooo ledddeee! can you believe this is our last fake radio show??
Mandy: (all verklempt) I know.. and we are moving back to Australia!
Christy drops the phone and stands in silence
Mandy: hello, hello, Christy!!
*dialtone is heard*
approximately 10:47am
final pre-show run through
Brian: everyone here??
Mandy: well, Rohan went to go buy another basketball.
Christy: hey Brian, did you hear something?
Brian: hon, that is Mandy talking.
Mandy's jumping up and down, wondering why Christy didn't hear her or see her even though she has phone book to sit on
Christy: can we get on with this, I have some really money to make!
Mandy's still waving at Christy
Brian: Mandy, she is ignoring you!
Mandy slumps in a heap and eventually slides of the phone book onto the floor
Brian: ok, guys where is Troy? we can't do our final show without my trusted longtime friend.
Mandy: yes we can!
Christy is busy throwing darts at her Glenn Becksized poster
unbeknowing to the crew, Troy has tweeted that today he will not be coming to the finale.
his twitter handle is, #youcan'thandlethis. it tweets that he will be having lunch at the new In N' Out burger in Ft. Worth.
Mandy: but that doesn't open til September!
Mandy looks up the exact date of the opening and notices a story about a line already forming.
Brian: well, we will just have to make do!
*blasting through the sun baked studios is Jimi Hendrix's VooDoo Child*
Brian: welcome one and all to the last edition of the Superfriends 93.8.
Christy is seen pulling the darts out of Beck's face on her wall poster
Brian: on tap today, we have social media in sports, the upcoming Cowboys season and kitten talk.
Mandy: kitten talk??
Christy: kitten talk!!! I'm on it.....
Brian: well, while Christy gets her material together, lets take a few phone calls, shall we.
Mandy: line 1, you're on...
line1: hey Mandy, please turn your cell phone on, I have been trying to call you. our plane leaves earlier than I thought!!
Mandy: Rohan!! are you serious??? I'm on my way...
Brian: wait, what about the sho......
Mandy: sorry, I have to go, we can't miss our flight!
Mandy is seen running out of the studio with tuna bucket in hand, yelling out for Rohan, that she is on her way.
Christy is now ready for kitten talk.
Brian: babe, can we postpone this please. Mandy and Rohan are gone. Troy is AWOL.
Christy: wait!! did you have me get all these pictures and whatnot of these cute little kittens and now I'm being told to wait???
Brian: (defiantly) yes!
Christy leaves in a huff, looking at her kitty pictures and heads home to snuggle up to her 2 new baby kittens....
Brian is left all alone with none of his *Superfriends* not knowing that it would end like this...
not wanting to go out in a whimper, he reaches for his stash of Metallica cd's and plays them violently as he eats left over spaghetti.
-all that can be heard is Metallica's Sad But True.....
goodnight Canada!
while digging through piles of dirty clothes, I have unearthed audio which sounds like the last days of the Superfriends broadcast!
Mandy: Rohan, where is my bucket of tuna??
Rohan: Mandy, we are not packing tuna to take with us to Australia!!
Mandy: (looking confused) yes, yes we are...
Rohan: ummmm, no we aren't! they have tuna in Australia.
Mandy looks for her tuna bucket...
-meanwhile at the Peters/Robinson residence-
Brian awakes from his sleep to a bountiful heap of kittens
Brian: arghhhhhhh! what the ................
Christy: (comes running in the room) what happened? did you fall off the bed again?
Brian: (looking unamused) no! what is this? (pointing to the 2 little hair balls of kittens)
Christy: (kicking the ground with her foot) what? these cute little guys??
Brian: yes! where did they come from?
Christy: babe, if I have to explain where kittens come from then......
Brian: not funny! we are not keeping kittens here??
Christy: (makes a sound never ever heard before) YES WE ARE!
Brian looking over at these 2 mops of mess as they bat playfully at each other
Brian: (looking at his beautiful wife) ok.....
Christy: yippee! (does the happy dance)
-meanwhile back at the Buck residence-
Rohan: Mandy, does Brian still have my basketball?
Mandy: yes, remember that was the prize when ya'll played last!
Rohan: ok, ok! don't have to rub it in.
*phone rings*
Mandy: (picks up phone) hello!
on the other end is Christy
Christy: helloooo ledddeee! can you believe this is our last fake radio show??
Mandy: (all verklempt) I know.. and we are moving back to Australia!
Christy drops the phone and stands in silence
Mandy: hello, hello, Christy!!
*dialtone is heard*
approximately 10:47am
final pre-show run through
Brian: everyone here??
Mandy: well, Rohan went to go buy another basketball.
Christy: hey Brian, did you hear something?
Brian: hon, that is Mandy talking.
Mandy's jumping up and down, wondering why Christy didn't hear her or see her even though she has phone book to sit on
Christy: can we get on with this, I have some really money to make!
Mandy's still waving at Christy
Brian: Mandy, she is ignoring you!
Mandy slumps in a heap and eventually slides of the phone book onto the floor
Brian: ok, guys where is Troy? we can't do our final show without my trusted longtime friend.
Mandy: yes we can!
Christy is busy throwing darts at her Glenn Becksized poster
unbeknowing to the crew, Troy has tweeted that today he will not be coming to the finale.
his twitter handle is, #youcan'thandlethis. it tweets that he will be having lunch at the new In N' Out burger in Ft. Worth.
Mandy: but that doesn't open til September!
Mandy looks up the exact date of the opening and notices a story about a line already forming.
Brian: well, we will just have to make do!
*blasting through the sun baked studios is Jimi Hendrix's VooDoo Child*
Brian: welcome one and all to the last edition of the Superfriends 93.8.
Christy is seen pulling the darts out of Beck's face on her wall poster
Brian: on tap today, we have social media in sports, the upcoming Cowboys season and kitten talk.
Mandy: kitten talk??
Christy: kitten talk!!! I'm on it.....
Brian: well, while Christy gets her material together, lets take a few phone calls, shall we.
Mandy: line 1, you're on...
line1: hey Mandy, please turn your cell phone on, I have been trying to call you. our plane leaves earlier than I thought!!
Mandy: Rohan!! are you serious??? I'm on my way...
Brian: wait, what about the sho......
Mandy: sorry, I have to go, we can't miss our flight!
Mandy is seen running out of the studio with tuna bucket in hand, yelling out for Rohan, that she is on her way.
Christy is now ready for kitten talk.
Brian: babe, can we postpone this please. Mandy and Rohan are gone. Troy is AWOL.
Christy: wait!! did you have me get all these pictures and whatnot of these cute little kittens and now I'm being told to wait???
Brian: (defiantly) yes!
Christy leaves in a huff, looking at her kitty pictures and heads home to snuggle up to her 2 new baby kittens....
Brian is left all alone with none of his *Superfriends* not knowing that it would end like this...
not wanting to go out in a whimper, he reaches for his stash of Metallica cd's and plays them violently as he eats left over spaghetti.
-all that can be heard is Metallica's Sad But True.....
goodnight Canada!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2010 Edition!
Hello one and all! It is that time of year again. It's time for my joculary edifying Christmas story! This is my 5th year of time wasting, er I mean, blogging about all things Christmas. If you have not read my past posts, then you truly have not lived. Truly! Anyways on with the show. What I do each and every year is blog about my life and friends in a bizarro world of gift giving and most importantly gift receiving. Remember friends, this is fake, not to hurt feelings but too giggle and guffaw!
I bring to you A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2010!
my cast of strong:
Brandt played perfectly by Brian
Chrystal impersonated quite hot by my wife Christy
Mindy portrayed by aloof, but funny little friend Mandy
Rod aka Rohan (Mandy's australian husband)
Richard aka Troy (Brian's best friend of the last 23 years)
Becky aka Becca (Troy's very very pregnant wife)
Tripp aka Trey (Brian's HS friend)
making a cameo appearance-
Juanita aka Juanell (Christy's mother)
MawMaw aka Grandma (Brian's sainted grandmother)
now that all of the introductions and needed bathroom breaks are out of the way lets get this party started...
Brandt walks in the bedroom as Chrystal drools on her pillow while laying in bed.
Brandt: Chrystal! it is 11:30am....
Chrystal: will you give me a wakey back massage?
Brandt obliges. to Chrystal's disgust she asks, " Two hands!!!!" Brandt does as asked.
Brandt tells Chrystal: guess what I have?
Chrystal: what? another wrestling dvd??? (giggle)
Brandt: guess!
Chrystal: I hate guessing, just tell me!
Brandt: I have a lottery ticket.
Chrystal: and?
Brandt: I have a good feeling about this...
Chrystal: is this the same good feeling you had about your Longhorns and Cowboys this year? (giggle)
Brandt: nooooooo! (he scratches furiously away at the ticket)
*phone rings*
Brandt: ughhh... will you answer that please!
Chrystal: no, I'll let it go to voice mail.
Brandt: what if it is important?
the phone is on its fourth ring
Chrystal finally answers the phone and it is her mom Juanita
Chrystal: hello.
Juanita (already talking) did I wake you?
Chrystal: no, what's up?
Juanita: just seeing how my dear daughter is doing.
Chrystal: mom, let me call you back Brandt is beating my down with some lottery ticket.
Juanita: need me to call the police?
Chrystal: what? no!, I'll call back!
Juanita: ok, bye...... hey real quick!
Chrystal (dial tone)
Brandt: WOOHOOOOOOO! I won, I mean we won!
Chrystal (not impressed) what did we win?
Brandt: we won a million dollars!!!!!
Chrystal: really!!!!! (quickly jumps up and does the running man)
Brandt (grabs his newly bought I-phone): I'm gonna call Richard!
Brandt frantically tries to call Richard but he is not answering.
Richard and his wife Becky are in transport to the local hospital. Becky's water has broken and she is ready to give birth to their new baby boy. The boy's new name is Christopher Brian Matheny.
Brandt leaves a voice mail and tells Richard he has great news.
Brandt: bro, I have won a million dollars!!!!!!
*ding dong*
Chrystal: will you get that hon?
Brandt in a joyous skip to the door answers and it is Mindy and Rod.
Brandt: well hello there my commoner friends!
Mindy: what?
Rod: ready for a basketball game?
Brandt smugly looks down on his friends and says. "Mindy, Chrystal is in there (pointing to the bedroom) and Rod my good ol' chap, I don't have time for basketball today, I need to go collect my check.
Rod: what check?
Brandt: you wouldn't understand!
Brandt leaves post haste.
Mindy: Chrystal, what has gotten into Brandt? what is the cheese again?
Chrystal: he says we won the lottery!
Mindy: oh wow! really? how much?
Chrystal: one million dollars!!
Rod (eavesdropping): what?
*phone rings on Brandt's cell phone* ring ring.
Brandt can't hear it due to the blaring Metallica in his car. Tripp leaves a voicemail about a funny story about the cops putting out fake lottery tickets to dupe people into thinking they won so they would go collect only to get snared by the police.
Brandt giddily runs into the store to claim his prize only to be engulfed by the fine uniformed officers of Dallas. it seems Brandt forgot to pay a ticket that is now outstanding.
Chrystal meanwhile is preparing for their Christmas feast. MawMaw has arrived and brought the turkey and dressing. (just the way Brandt likes it)
Mindy is seen tasting the dressing with her fingers, while Rod has turned on the t.v. to watch the Mavericks.
Richard and Becky are proud parents of a new bouncing baby boy! new name is Chase Raider Matheny.
Richard: great job honey!
Becky: thank you...
Richard: do you think Brandt will be offended that we didn't name Chase after him?
Becky: I don't really care, he still hasn't paid for that Christmas tree ornament from the Longhorn game in 05'.
Richard: duly noted!
back at the Peters/Robinson abode-
Rod is seen snoring on the couch with maverick basketball playing in the back ground.
Mindy is still tasting the dressing and turkey with her fingers.
Brandt is sitting in Lew Sterrett (a Dallas jail) waiting to make his one call. It seems a very buff Jerry Wayne from Mesquite is hogging the phone talking to one of his friends.
Chrystal is back at home setting the table wondering where her mom is. *phone rings*
Juanita: Chrystal, I'm on my way. sorry for being late but I.....
Chrystal: mom it is ok, but I'm really busy here just come on over....
Brandt finally makes his one phone call. He calls his wife and gets an immediate voice mail.
Chrystal it seems has put her phone on silent.
Brandt can't believe his bad luck. The officer comes to bring Brandt to the waiting cell. Brandt sits next to Jerry Wayne who winks at him knowingly.
Chrystal/Mindy/Rod/Juanita and MawMaw all gather around the Christmas feast and say their blessings to Santa Baby Jesus.
Mawmaw: "asks where Brandt is?"
Chrystal: He has a huge surprise for everyone!
-while back at Lew Sterret- Brandt is seen in the fetal position sobbing uncontollably!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! bye 2010....
I bring to you A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2010!
my cast of strong:
Brandt played perfectly by Brian
Chrystal impersonated quite hot by my wife Christy
Mindy portrayed by aloof, but funny little friend Mandy
Rod aka Rohan (Mandy's australian husband)
Richard aka Troy (Brian's best friend of the last 23 years)
Becky aka Becca (Troy's very very pregnant wife)
Tripp aka Trey (Brian's HS friend)
making a cameo appearance-
Juanita aka Juanell (Christy's mother)
MawMaw aka Grandma (Brian's sainted grandmother)
now that all of the introductions and needed bathroom breaks are out of the way lets get this party started...
Brandt walks in the bedroom as Chrystal drools on her pillow while laying in bed.
Brandt: Chrystal! it is 11:30am....
Chrystal: will you give me a wakey back massage?
Brandt obliges. to Chrystal's disgust she asks, " Two hands!!!!" Brandt does as asked.
Brandt tells Chrystal: guess what I have?
Chrystal: what? another wrestling dvd??? (giggle)
Brandt: guess!
Chrystal: I hate guessing, just tell me!
Brandt: I have a lottery ticket.
Chrystal: and?
Brandt: I have a good feeling about this...
Chrystal: is this the same good feeling you had about your Longhorns and Cowboys this year? (giggle)
Brandt: nooooooo! (he scratches furiously away at the ticket)
*phone rings*
Brandt: ughhh... will you answer that please!
Chrystal: no, I'll let it go to voice mail.
Brandt: what if it is important?
the phone is on its fourth ring
Chrystal finally answers the phone and it is her mom Juanita
Chrystal: hello.
Juanita (already talking) did I wake you?
Chrystal: no, what's up?
Juanita: just seeing how my dear daughter is doing.
Chrystal: mom, let me call you back Brandt is beating my down with some lottery ticket.
Juanita: need me to call the police?
Chrystal: what? no!, I'll call back!
Juanita: ok, bye...... hey real quick!
Chrystal (dial tone)
Brandt: WOOHOOOOOOO! I won, I mean we won!
Chrystal (not impressed) what did we win?
Brandt: we won a million dollars!!!!!
Chrystal: really!!!!! (quickly jumps up and does the running man)
Brandt (grabs his newly bought I-phone): I'm gonna call Richard!
Brandt frantically tries to call Richard but he is not answering.
Richard and his wife Becky are in transport to the local hospital. Becky's water has broken and she is ready to give birth to their new baby boy. The boy's new name is Christopher Brian Matheny.
Brandt leaves a voice mail and tells Richard he has great news.
Brandt: bro, I have won a million dollars!!!!!!
*ding dong*
Chrystal: will you get that hon?
Brandt in a joyous skip to the door answers and it is Mindy and Rod.
Brandt: well hello there my commoner friends!
Mindy: what?
Rod: ready for a basketball game?
Brandt smugly looks down on his friends and says. "Mindy, Chrystal is in there (pointing to the bedroom) and Rod my good ol' chap, I don't have time for basketball today, I need to go collect my check.
Rod: what check?
Brandt: you wouldn't understand!
Brandt leaves post haste.
Mindy: Chrystal, what has gotten into Brandt? what is the cheese again?
Chrystal: he says we won the lottery!
Mindy: oh wow! really? how much?
Chrystal: one million dollars!!
Rod (eavesdropping): what?
*phone rings on Brandt's cell phone* ring ring.
Brandt can't hear it due to the blaring Metallica in his car. Tripp leaves a voicemail about a funny story about the cops putting out fake lottery tickets to dupe people into thinking they won so they would go collect only to get snared by the police.
Brandt giddily runs into the store to claim his prize only to be engulfed by the fine uniformed officers of Dallas. it seems Brandt forgot to pay a ticket that is now outstanding.
Chrystal meanwhile is preparing for their Christmas feast. MawMaw has arrived and brought the turkey and dressing. (just the way Brandt likes it)
Mindy is seen tasting the dressing with her fingers, while Rod has turned on the t.v. to watch the Mavericks.
Richard and Becky are proud parents of a new bouncing baby boy! new name is Chase Raider Matheny.
Richard: great job honey!
Becky: thank you...
Richard: do you think Brandt will be offended that we didn't name Chase after him?
Becky: I don't really care, he still hasn't paid for that Christmas tree ornament from the Longhorn game in 05'.
Richard: duly noted!
back at the Peters/Robinson abode-
Rod is seen snoring on the couch with maverick basketball playing in the back ground.
Mindy is still tasting the dressing and turkey with her fingers.
Brandt is sitting in Lew Sterrett (a Dallas jail) waiting to make his one call. It seems a very buff Jerry Wayne from Mesquite is hogging the phone talking to one of his friends.
Chrystal is back at home setting the table wondering where her mom is. *phone rings*
Juanita: Chrystal, I'm on my way. sorry for being late but I.....
Chrystal: mom it is ok, but I'm really busy here just come on over....
Brandt finally makes his one phone call. He calls his wife and gets an immediate voice mail.
Chrystal it seems has put her phone on silent.
Brandt can't believe his bad luck. The officer comes to bring Brandt to the waiting cell. Brandt sits next to Jerry Wayne who winks at him knowingly.
Chrystal/Mindy/Rod/Juanita and MawMaw all gather around the Christmas feast and say their blessings to Santa Baby Jesus.
Mawmaw: "asks where Brandt is?"
Chrystal: He has a huge surprise for everyone!
-while back at Lew Sterret- Brandt is seen in the fetal position sobbing uncontollably!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! bye 2010....
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