A Truly Bizarro Christmas 2012!

Yep! It's that time of year already... Christmas is nigh upon us. This here blog is meant for giggles, smiles, knee slaps and the like! If you or your loved ones ever get offended by anything written, then please grow up and remember everything is not about you!! Also, for continuity's sake, please read all the other Bizarro Christmas blogs from the years past. It will make all this drivel more sense, even for you Mandy.
Cast-
Starring:
Brian as Brandt
Christy as Chrystal
Mandy as Mindy
Rohan as Rod
Troy as Richard
Becca as Becky
Featuring:
Tiffani as Trixy
Cameo Appearances by
Juanell as Juanita


now that the pleasantries are out of the way, lets proceed with the festivities...

Brandt: Chrystal, what is the plan for Christmas this year?
Chrystal: I don't know, I'm so beat down this year from working at the Texas Morning News. I gave Christmas event planning to Mindy!
Brandt: ummmmmmmmmm, ok!
Chrystal: I know what you're thinking but I have faith in our little friend...

MIndy: Rod, can you believe Chrystal and Brandt gave me the opportunity to throw the Christmas party this year?
Rod: Mindy, they've done it every year and it's about time someone else got to do it!
Mindy: I know but they chose me!!!! 

unbeknownst to Mindy and even Chrystal, Trixy is secretly planning her own Christmas party! Trixy has rented out the Reunion Tower for party.

Mindy calls Chrystal on the phone
* ring ring*
Chrystal's phone is on silent, thus not answered..
Mindy: Rod, I can't get a hold of Chrystal!
Rod: call Brandt, he's always phone ready!
Mindy: true, he's kind of weird like that!

Mindy calls Brandt's phone
*ring ring*
Brandt looks at his phone and contemplates answering
Chrystal: answer your phone Brandt, it's Mindy, she never calls anymore!
Brandt picks up the phone
Brandt: hello!
Mindy: geeze, about time! I called Chrystal's phone but she didn't answer.
Brandt: well it's probably on silent or lost, one of the two.
Mindy: anyways, I have some ideas about the Christmas party.
Brandt: ok, shoot!

while Mindy is about to wax on about her Christmas party idea, Trixy has tweeted and facebooked and even myspaced everyone about the Christmas party whereabouts.

Mindy: ok, so Brandt, what do you think?
Brandt: ummm, well....
Rod: Mindy, speak no more! just got a myspace message from Trixy and we're going to the Reunion Tower for our party!!
Mindy: what in the blue......
while Mindy's head is about explode from this devastating news, Brandt receives the news from his smartphone via his tweet deck app.
Brandt hangs up on Mindy
Mindy: (talks into the phone) hello...

Brandt: (runs into the living quarters and asks Chrystal) did you get the news about the Christmas party?
Chrystal: why yes, yes I did! seems like you will be able to confront those fear of heights....
Brandt passes out cold on the spot

meanwhile-
Richard informs Becky of the Reunion Tower news and both are muted but excited.

Juanita receives the info about the party on her facebook and calls Chrystal
*ring ring*
Chrystal: hello
Juanita: hey Chrystal, did you hear about the news?
Chrystal: yes I did, I'm mending to Brandt's slight concussion because of it..
Juanita: what happened?
Chrystal: well, he passed out due to his fear of heights.
Juanita: poor thing! anyways, I won't be able to make it because your dad is taking me out to the local Luby's!
Chrystal: awwww, how sweet!
Juanita: I know, I think he has a coupon or something!
Chrystal: ok, mom, I gotta run, Brandt is waking up!
Brandt: Chrystal, do I have to go to the Christmas party?
Chrystal: bye mom, (hangs up)
Juanita: hey, real quick....
*dialtone*
Chrystal: yes, Brandt, it will be good for you, plus we can try out the Valium again!
Brandt looks on in somber horror

Mindy is crestfallen about the news but is secretly happy because she didn't know if she could have pulled off renting the suite out at the AAC.

in all corners of the metroplex, everyone is getting gussied up. Brandt is even wearing khaki pants.

Chrystal: ok, babe, have you taken your Valium yet?
Brandt looking starry eyed
Brandt: I think so..... how is my tie looking?
Chrystal: ummm, you're not wearing a tie!
Brandt: I'm not?? (as he twirls around the room, making airplane noises)

Mindy: Rod, I wonder if Richard and Becky, got the news about the party?
Rod: I hope so, this is the Christmas season, plus I like that Richard is there because he keeps Brandt from beating me down with his basketball triumphs!
Mindy: *sigh*

Chrystal pulls up in the parking lot of the Texas Morning News and helps Brandt stagger across the parking lot to the Reunion Tower..
Chrystal: (looking at her husband) see, your such a big boy!
Brandt is drumming his mouth with fingers, not having the foggiest idea what is going on
Chrystal: hon, how many Valium's did you take!
Brandt holds up finger and shows 4 and giggles to himself

Richard and Becky arrive with gifts in tow!
Becky: look Richard, we're in the big city! look at all the lights!!!
Richard: they better have Shiner on tap...

Trixy is situated at the elevator as the guests make their arrival.
Trixy welcomes one and all with a gift bag and firm handshake!

Brandt is posted up by the booth near the window

Chrystal chats with Mindy and Rod
Chrystal: see, I don't get it, Brandt is doing so good up here!
Mindy: what is he on? he is talking to the bird outside of the window.
Chrystal: well he took Valium's on accident but he should be fine!

Trixy unveils go-go dancers adorned in Christmas elf outfits

Chrystal looks on unashamed disgust
Chrystal: ummm, Trixy, what is the deal with the go-go dancers!
Trixy: well, I thought I would liven up the joint a little bit!
Richard: O, its alive!
Becky drops her gifts off and drags Richard off and down the elevator!
Mindy and Rod do likewise

Trixy: where is everyone going?
Naked Santa makes his way out, with only a Christmas stocking covering up the most private of areas.
Trixy pushes Naked Santa back in the backroom and tries to get every to stay.

Richard giggles to Becky and proclaims: hey, look Becky, (pointing to his suit jacket) I snagged a couple of Shiner's for us!
Becky nods proudly

Mindy and Rod are scurrying to the Dart green line that is headed to the AAC for the Mavericks game.
Rod does not know that Mindy purchased a suite for the game that night!

Chrystal and Brandt look out the window as they descend on the elevator.
Brandt: babe, I love you!
Chrystal: I love you too! but next time, lets take only 2 Valium's.
Brandt: sweetheart, I only take 2 but I pretended to act sluggish because I was suppressing my fear of heights.
Chrystal: that is awesome hon, but you might went overboard! I think everyone thinks your hopped up on the goofies now!
Brandt: well, I had to act pretty good because I was scared something fierce.
Chrystal: so do this mean you can graduate up to flying?
Brandt vomits on the spot....

Trixy looks around at the lonely carnage and goes to pay the bill and meets a suave business man named Anthony..

Thank you for reading this extended but very hilarious edition of my Truly Bizarro Christmas 2012.
I don't know how many more yuks and grins I can keep doing but if the reception to this one is like the last, then you have seen the last of my weird musings and masterful bon mots...

2013, you're on the clock!